I woke up this morning with the strongest urge to message my brother
And I all I could think to say was, I love you so so much..
There's this fire that is inside me, almost completely burning me up
Anger, hurt, resentment, tension, anguish
And yet I can't give any of it up..
I want to yell and scream and tell him of my pain but i digress...
I repress all of this violence inside and succumb to the sadness which is all that's left
To wake with this thought is something I surely did not expect
For the last few months my life has been a wreck
Constantly shaking, with panicked breaths
I could find no comfort in where I laid my head
All. Because. Of. Him.
I was strangled in my own home by the uncertainty of his character
I was withered and had been beaten
Completely had gave up
But today my love was strong and needed an outlet
I wished only to hug him and give his hair a rub
I wished only to laugh and feel his touch
He used to be my savior, the knight in shining armor
Big brother protect me from all there is to harm me..
I needed you as a young one and there you always were
but now I find I've grown and no longer feel secure
This is just a long big rant, my feelings are unending
I just hope that someday the love I have can save you, they way it did for me
I hope to have you forever, my brother whom I need..
This cloud which has settled roughly over our roof gives me chills me day by day
These needles, and that foil a constant throw away..
My heart still steadily beating for some sort of reprieve, I find my self longing for the way our home used to be..
You can ignore this, its just my adament stance on the anger and hatred I had felt for so long towards my brother and the decisions he has made.. But today i really missed him in the old way,