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 May 2016 Klara
Axle Avatari
For so many years
I had no words to give
You had left me
My truest love
I thought I had found another
And no longer needed you
But I missed you
You were the one
Who never questioned
My love
You never thought ill of me
Never hurt me
Always knew just the right words
To use

Sometimes I thought
What caused this barrier?
What took away my cherished gift?
That gave me so much
I think I finally figured it out
She never loved all of you
She loved the sweet love you showed
Your sense of humor
She loved your intelligence
How you twisted words
And created thoughts
But the dark side of you
She didn’t care for

In the beginning
I was happy
Happy and in love
With her
We did everything together
Had a plan
Too busy to think about you
Sometimes I went back to you
Devoured your words
Absorbed your feelings
But it was hard
Hard to go back to that time
When my heart shut down
From too much pain

I wanted to spend time with you
Converse again
I think I was worried
Worried what my words would reveal
I never really know
Where it is you go
Once I give you your reign
You’re like a wild stallion
Tearing off into the night
With only the moon as your guide
So I didn’t trust you
That’s not right
I didn’t trust her
I didn’t want the questions
That I might not be able to answer

I think by that time I knew
And I was afraid
To be with you
I needed a safe place
And I had none

Until now

You have rushed back into me
Like a breath of life
For a dead man
Back with a vengeance
Version 2.0
I think our separation
Your hibernation
Was a good thing
I missed you
Terribly so
I never knew
But always hoped
And now you’re back
I love you
Never let this
Happen again
I hope I never suffer
Writer’s Block
Coming out of a 20 year writer's block.
 Apr 2016 Klara
Girl On The Wing
When you look at me
you don't see me
you never have.
You have always used me
as a blank slate
on which to paint
whichever picture
makes you feel better.

I have been
a friend
a love
a source of unconditional support
a fool who couldn't stop thinking about you
a jealous girl
a person uglier than you
someone who will always be there to smile
someone to deny
someone to better
someone to trivialize when you feel trivial.

But never
have I ever been
just me.

And now it's too late
for you to see the real me,
for I am now covered in your paint.
 Apr 2016 Klara
Gwen Johnson
The first time you hear
"Beauty is pain"
Is when your mother is brushing tangles
Out of your hair
You're too young to care

The next time
Is when you're getting your hair done
For an event
Bobby pins everywhere
And this time it sticks

Your legs sting
After you shave them
For the first time
But you remind yourself
Beauty is pain
And go on with your day

You remind yourself again
As you pluck hairs
From your eyebrows
It helps you somehow

Beauty is pain
Your stomach growls
You haven't eaten
Because you want to be skinny
You want to be pretty

Beauty is pain
Is all you hear
When you walk into surgery
To change your face

Beauty is pain
Lingers in the back of your mind
When your boyfriend hits you
For the first time

One day you look in the mirror
All you see is pain
You wonder how it ended up this way
"Beauty is pain" is an awful mentality to have
Take that risk
And enlighten yourself
Never stop growing
Entertain, edify, and reach for that top shelf
The gold is yours
Be willing to broaden your mind
The answer is there within
Just take things one step at a time
 Apr 2016 Klara
Amber S
 Apr 2016 Klara
Amber S
i've known the boys like him, the boys
with the gentle eyelashes and the
lip petals and spikes.
he touches my hair, twirls it in his fingers.
i am always nothing more to them.

i want to be earthquakes and avalanches,
yet i fold, becoming the beers in their guts, the ash
on their tongues.
but the way his tongue finds my pelvic bones,
how his calluses kiss my bruises.
his scent echoes inside my pillows,
denial like ***** bordering my throat thick.

the boys want my skin, to flay and wear it.
i am a prize, shiny and golden,
and he is licking my insides, my blood and guts.
like wine,
on his mouth, dripping down his chest.

i see how he stares at others,
calculating and timing,
but in the end i am the one, bent over, the one he says he loves.
(to ****).
and i wonder if this will always be this.
nights tasting like cider and ***,
knees scabbed and bleeding and scabbed and

he never touches me outside the bedroom, his
fingers glued to the bike handles.
i want to cut him open and see what's really inside.
 Jan 2015 Klara
A box of broken glass
Filled to the very top
Fragments of a broken heart
Shattered memories
Sharp feelings of hopelessness
Emotional shrapnel
Filled to the top
of a box that reads
"Break in case of emergency"

****** fingertips smearing red
As I dig and dig and dig
Desperately trying to find
Something leftover
Something forgotten
Something soft & warm
Just one last thing to hold onto
Anything to quiet this mind
Bottom of the box, still no luck.

Left alone to lick my wounds
Pluck out each small piece of glass
Stitch every gaping ****
Bandage over ****** bandage
I sit there to heal
Next to the place
Where I've smashed all these things
And placed them in a box that reads
"Break in case of emergency"
 Jan 2015 Klara
You wonder when you will stop bleeding.**
On the night of the accident, there was so much blood loss that they didn't think you'd make it.
You still wonder how you made it.
You haven't bled like that since and the wounds have scarred over but
whenever you drive past where it happened,
whenever you see an icy patch, or a blue Honda,
the scar tears a bit.
You've tried to avoid those things, but you can't forever.
And so you wonder when the scar will fully heal.
You wonder when you will stop bleeding.
maybe one day.
 Jan 2015 Klara
 Jan 2015 Klara
I'm not weak.
I'm not weak.
I'm not weak.
I might be a little bit weak.
No, don't.
 Oct 2014 Klara
Just Melz
 Oct 2014 Klara
Just Melz
"Being lonely
In a crowded room"
You've heard that expression,
Have you?
Well, it's so much more than that.
It's down to your core,
To your very soul.
Never having more
Than the thoughts you already know.
No hand to hold
No one there to hug
No voices around
Except the voices in your head
Laying alone in a big empty bed
Sleeping all the way on the edge
Saving room for...
The "one" you think will never show
No friends to call
Knowing no one will be there
Falling deeper and deeper
Into despair
"Lonely in a crowded room"
That's just the beginning
When your still lonely in your head
The voices stop
Your every thought is dark, death...
Let me just tell you..
You think you're lonely?
Think of that empty grave
No room to scoot to the edge
No crowds to even feel alone in...
I promise you
There's nothing more lonely
Than dead.

Think about it.
I've felt this way, I don't know how,
But I've managed to pull through
I'm sure that YOU...
Well, you can too.
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