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hurtful twinges
filling up every
corner of my
expanding coroner’s
disease; debilitating,
destroying, until
what’s left of me
is nothing

hurtful twinges
crashing down every
space of my
suffocating mental
affliction; desperate,
decaying, until
what’s left of you
is nothing.
mind your head
can’t concentrate
i want you to go
don’t stay away
i’m being feisty
my smile is numb
you got me walking
saying “*******”
you’re in my line
of sight and range
but duck your head
before it’s too late
my voices are all out
i won’t say a thing
but i’ll hang around
till i get what you mean
pardon, i lost my mind
when you came around
you’re far too high for me
so let me go, let me go down.
Inspired by: Peach (Lobotomy) by Waterparks
but darling, just
what is love
but another word
for the feeling
i could never have?
One too many opened blister packets.

Chalky blue tablets swallowed down; bitter, choking, dry,

Words bleed out of my brain and morph into seven-headed visions, and

My heavy tongue feels like grating metal and frigid sandpaper as

I carefully utter the slurred words that would reach no one—

"I hope you’re ******* better now."
a yesterday
or two ago
i watched
my child
grow up and
get married

but today
and in the now
i watched
my child
fall down and
get buried.
Inspired by: Bang Bang by Green Day
an undulating reverie
hangs heavy in the silence
past canyons abundant with sunlight
and dreams made out of cotton

there, beyond the intoxicating haze,
you stood.

my lips uttered no words
that the universe could decipher
but the midnight tide understood
what i truly meant

now, if only you could, ma chérie

but the scrupulous colloquy is bound to break
and the stratosphere rewinds again
past divine oculists and obstinate facsimiles
and beyond the desolate valleys
where no sunshine dares to embark

and what’s left in the end
at the very edge of such a disenchanting,
morose fantasy

is you, and me,
and an undulating reverie.
your brown sugar eyes
and glances that tasted
of soft candy and vanilla
lifted away the gravity
and it spun candy floss
in shades of pastel clouds
within a heart that was
as bitterly grey as can be.
a severed midnight
taking the calls of a thousand
dreaming souls, fading

i wonder if the rain will wash us away

drifting into a somnolent embrace
against clashing tides of aegan
until i have sand between my fingers
breathing in the hawthorn blossoms

reaching again until it falls
and stops crying beneath my feet

just close your eyes and softly
rest amid sounds of synaptic crickets and
faint traces of chanterelle
between your slightly-open mouth

waiting to hold onto forbidden auguries
coalitions of sweeter reveries
i couldn't find behind your eyelids

and then, perhaps, after a million years under
the stars, i'll open my eyes to revelations

the light sleeps on. where can we be alone to watch them?
i have not dwelt
simply to haunt the stubborn
nor to be wasted away
by tides of hubris.
i may be a mere spectre
but i am nary a ghost
nor another figment of your
mischievous imagination.
you may think me but
another flickering shadow
lingering past peripheral visions,
in the darker corners of your
tired, bleary, hallucinating eyes,
but i am not transient
and quiet mantras and disheartened
prayers will not be enough to
make me go away, vanish.
and my silhouette shall eclipse
your sunrise mind, until
persistence turns to paranoia
and mysticism turns to madness,
morphing your shallow dreams
into abyssmal nightmares...
you deserve it,
for you are a murderer—
you have not killed my body,
but you have mercilessly mutilated
my spirit, leaving my heart
beating steady yet badly hollow,
making me vainly ache
for the former tragedy instead.
with what you have done,
it is only fair and just for me
to be the deathless past
billowing rather furiously
behind your closed curtains,
trapping you in my perpetual gale
as you have done to me.
for i have not dwelt simply
to be another superstitious legend
passed around in whispers,
nor will i stay in insignificant limbo
just to be entirely washed away
by the arrogant tides of
the fear you once called love.
Inspired by: King For A Day by Pierce The Veil
you make my heart leap in fathoms;
dazed with love and imperfections, i’m
utterly smitten by you

you’re my slip of the tongue,
my careless laugh out of nowhere,
the pursuit of scarlet lipstick and radical change;
you make me hope for impossibilities and singularity

wishing there’s a dream where i appear—do i
wake you up in butterfly palpitations
the same way you leave me unready, completely
unsteady in the dead of the
wandering night?

(it’s a fickle thought that keeps me going
despite all my misfortunes and the
arrogant reality of our transatlantic million miles away)

i’ve found another “one”
but i don’t want to count higher, this time.

my ribs ache for your missing
puzzle piece, the final fractal of fire that
will keep me warm against apophenic shadows and
keeps me breathing on for infinities…

you make my heart leap in fathoms;
dazed with love and reckless notions, i’m
utterly smitten by you.
Inspired by the song If I'm Being Honest by Dodie Clark.
i quietly wonder
if i had done anything
wrong to reclaim
another faultful star

as i stare outside the window
cascading past endless stretches
of worn paved-roads
and vast fertile landscapes

and everything looks transiently gargantuan

but i momentarily glance
at the empty bus seat next to me
and i feel rather small again

flimsy music in my ears
speaking of infinite sentiments
and i’m disenchanted again
these mellisonant voices are enough
they have to be enough

to keep my wandering mind
company against the ephemeral madness

i flick my red lighter open
and hold it close—but not too close
to my dying pen; wondering, for
a moment, if the same trick could revive
my spirits like the stuttering ink,
tempted to burn my flesh back to life

but i merely stare into the flame—
flickering unsteady still—and blow it out
so it doesn’t have to be lonely
as my heart is right now

as i travel from small city
to smaller town, i wonder where
all my friends are right now
how they are all doing
what they are doing

and if they’re all having fun
without me.
Inspired by: Fire by Sleeping With Sirens
for there never was

and never will be

a finer vagrant soul

to poetically allude me

than the billows of notes

that fall from your shade

and the stars in your lips

to sing a thousand serenades

dear, if only i could compose

about all my woeful throes

in lights enchanting as yours

no word a wasted recourse

and the aesthete that lies

beneath restless amber eyes

will dream up a promise

for fallen eternity’s premise

where the universe spins

as relentless time should be

and no whispers of parallels

between the lines of you and me

i’m quite dizzy from the sun again

but i’ll close my hands, count to ten

and wait against such fragile hope

that you’re the sunrise to decode

so why do i weep, ever still?

in the midst of my bedroom floor

only bare remnants remain, until

a voice paints a distant nevermore

of faithless keep, an endless rue

tomorrow’s heart, nor i nor you

southern nights, quaint afterglow

the days pass on as we’ll quietly go

i may be weary, yet do not think

i’ll give up when i’m on the brink

let’s chase the wind, and we’ll ascend

to an everlasting paradise we can spend

for there never was and never will be

a finer valiant soul to poetically allure me

than the muse of the moon and billowing notes

that fall from your shade and the stars that you wrote.
lipstick stains
and beyond
at the backseat
and all over my brain
i missed the tears
under the covers
like little favours
leave me alone
i will close that track
cross the threshold
and mind the gap
i vied for this
this vile acridity
this insane stupidity
and i believe in
the reverse of sense
hoping tragedies
like a sceptical god
a symphony like
sweet medicines to
kick in when the
lights rage in blood
forget about me now
my floral imprints
blossoming on skin
pretty in red and pink
are nothing but
butterfly memories
fleeting and fugacious
as cold as your kiss
hug that jacket tighter
and close both eyes
the walk is shorter
than this long drive
but if your lips bruise
or your fingers tire
from singing back
dear, i’ll douse the fire
my gasoline’s empty
and i’m almost out
this is all falling apart
so hold your mouth
and when everything
fades out slowly to
music and black
as you forget to listen
you will find that i
wiped away all of the
evidence, and the
lipstick stains are missing.
Inspired by: Floral & Fading by Pierce The Veil
silence is a
distant bird
at the back
of my throat
daring to fly away

is a broken
winged dove
wishing to soar
yet never getting away.
i just want
to put the
whole world
on pause
and play
you on
r e p e a t.
pastel laughter, petals of umber
lip-gloss stains and sweet december

brick wall steps, stepping stones
withering glares, i contemplate alone

seven mysteries i don't dare speak
magicians fleet in magic tricks

intervals lead to cyanide infinity
trapped in a loop of tangible vanity

tasting alcohol and numbing smiles
maybe i'll stay here for a while

midnight calm and oceans deep
i'll keep my thoughts in the morning
and talk in my sleep.
i counted seventeen vultures
circling above to rend my spoiled flesh apart
and feed me to their starving children

i thought i saw a raven
mocking my unfortunate fate
perched solemnly on a chiseled granite bust
weeping with plutonian ponderings

as the foolish crows
sang me a heartless elegy
the epistles crumbled to ashes in my palms
and my fountain pen dried out
into blotted shadows

if only heaven were to open up
and save me from the ominous darkness
but there's no room for another soul
to save; no vacancy to give

so i huddle beneath the branches
of the dying willow tree
and waited for them to take me alive.
curled up compact
as shockwaves of pain
twist daggers up my sides
doubling over metallic tang
as i coughed up rust
breaking, breaking

coiled within and writhing
as the shock slithers into aches
breaking apart in sulphurous acid
tearing holes in my viscera
as i'm blistered and vitriolic
hurting, hurting

contorted inhumanely
as the irascible aftershocks
flowed magma on my insides
burning me internally
as i waited for it to be over
dying, dying.
Inspired by: Guilt Tripping by Frnkiero andthe cellabration
i am you
i’ll play a tune
to sing of sunny haze
and cloudy gloom

you are me
you’ll write a sonnet
to speak of fireflies
and underground moments

i am me
i’ll paint a picasso
depicting stained hearts
and abstracted souls

you are you
you’ll orate a speech
declaiming of eloquence
and casual vernacular street

we are we
and we will forever be
immoralised from art to poetry
faded all the way to infinity.
how can i say
that i envy the chase
from the tip of my pencil
to your graphite gaze?
spitting my heart
onto an endless canvas
of greys and blacks,
hoping the red would stain…
but it never does.
only your floral words are
indelible on my skin
and the reverse
is just a lie i tell myself
so i could sleep a little better
every forsaken night.
the truth is far from your moon;
beyond all your pretty stars
and iridescent eternities,
it is despairingly beyond my fathoms.
but i hope, and again i hurt
for butterfly smiles
and deluding taciturn undertows
and nightmarish illusions
leaving bruises of you
on the very tip of my lost tongue
and all over my wept eyes;
a lifeless empty void
against the autumn shower
of your warm hermetic glances.
and there is no one else
to keep this rusted clockwork
ticking rhythmically to the beats
of your mindless cradle…
and that is the ultimate folly
of this ascetic destructive shale
that i tactlessly call my soul.
for a fool’s machinery,
this chemical heart is.
So indiscernible to lose itself in
such vitreous self-infliction,
and sabotaging the very blood
that my tiring arteries
now regain, thus to sustain
the very memory of your breath
in tranquil consonance…
foolish—and yet; a fool, i am.
a fool for believing that this
lie was past the dark side of the moon
and beyond my wounded stars
and lacklustre infinities…
you are despondently beyond my fathoms.
but i hope, and again, i hurt.
darling, just how can i ever say
that i envy the calm reflection
from the incipience of your melody
to your coda’s revelations?
Inspired by: Only You by The Platters
i’ll never get
tired of the way
the strings
around my neck
tighten as you play
them and sing;
though i’m unable
to sing along
for your spell is
choking my windpipe
and binding tight
my tongue

and yet i could
never ask you to
remove your hands
and the strings
all wrapped around
my bruised neck,
shut up, and just call it
quits, despite the
unfortunate fact
that the copper and
metal wires are lacerating
my bleeding throat.
Inspired by: Today I Saw The Whole World (Acoustic Version) by Pierce The Veil
i’m aware
my hands
are tainted
with blood,
but i’m afraid
that yours is
not on mine.
dear love, i'm quite distracted
by that stray curl of russet hair
and those hazy atmospheric eyes
softly peeking out from beneath

dear love, i'm quite distracted
by those sweetly-serenading lips
i reckon your voice needs a rest
dare i move in now for a kiss?

— The End —