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i see the distress marked across your face
the fade in your smile
the way you look to the floor
for comfort
when he walks by
seemingly not giving your presence
a second thought

but i see
just as you pass him
he steals a last glance of you
from the corner of his eyes
he wonders
are you doing well?
do you still think of him?
is the reason
you turn your head
because you don’t remember?
is your heart still filled with anger?

i see the conflict behind his eyes
i’ll bet
he lays awake at night
missing you

missing the way
you stole his little things
although returning them
before the day was done

missing the way
you waved your hands
mind wandering
lost,
in the recollections
with the stories you would tell
hoping he would smile

somedays
when you pass him
on your way to class
ear buds in
world closed out
he mourns to push the hair back from your face
to steal away the sadness in your eyes

but there are days
where he is content
without
your lips upon his own

there are days
when he is sure the decision he made was right
but
there is not a day when you don’t cross his mind

he has days full of regret,
but
he has days of certainty
in some way
you have a piece of his heart
a corner of his mind

so don’t
close your eyes
turn your head
try to make yourself so small
that you disappear

don’t loath
the way you laugh
or your crooked tooth
the loudness of your voice
when you try to make others smile

don’t let the thoughts
that scream to you at night
win
telling you
that you did something wrong
that you weren’t good
that if you had
worn your hair down that day
or sang in a better key
he would have stayed

don’t
don’t wish for him to come back

because you deserve someone
who is sure
of having a heart
that skips a beat when you appear


because
you deserve someone
who’s smile meets the rising sun
on sunday mornings
with a bubbling excitement
that hours from that point
they will see a radiant you

don’t stop loving yourself
because somebody else did

and don’t wait for someone
who will make you love yourself
either

love yourself
because one day
someone so wonderful
will grow
into your days
who has fingers
that entangle so perfectly with your own
and a presence
that wraps around your heart

because one day
somebody
will look at you
with the same fire in their eyes
as you do
when you watch a burning sky

one day
you will be a sunset
that sends kisses
that reduces
a fading purple sky
into stardust
All history is Black history,
wrapped in the shadows of time,
obscured by secret purpose and motive.
The Mother of mankind is as black as night itself,
the rich earth as dark as the space between stars.
History IS Black, and a month barely begins
to scratch its near-inscrutable surface.
 Feb 2014 Trader Tim
Mikaila
If
 Feb 2014 Trader Tim
Mikaila
If
How strange. Everything is just so...strange.
And what if you loved me, for real?
What if someday you decided that this love was what you wanted?
What then?
Would it be like it was? Would it be better?
Would I fall back into your arms and forget everything since you?
It scares me to think my other loves would be erased if you turned to me and said you wanted me.
It scares me, perhaps more, that they would not.
Can you imagine that?
Can you imagine, after these years,
You loving me and me loving you
And finally us finishing what we started but...
Me always loving someone else as well?
Honestly, it would be so horribly ironic that I think it might happen, just for that.
If I could have one of you, who would I pick?
How would I ever choose?
The girl I will love forever, or the girl who makes me feel like I'm flying every time she looks at me?
The security of you-have-seen-my-hell or the thrilling fear of you-could-create-a-new-one?
The romantic, dusky gold of the past, or the pure, hot silver of the future?
What if you ever kiss me again,
And I melt like I used to,
And you own my soul?
And... what if it happens,
And I don't...
And she owns it?
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