I guess I knew it would be this way,
I’d be alone and miss you every day,
But I could not imagine,
How long you’d be gone,
Forever seems to go on and on,
I guess...
I thought…
Somehow…”I’d get over”
I am not a child,
I am much older,
Still...
I miss resting my head on your shoulder,
The arms that held me,
When life was colder,
I thought I’d live with it,
I know…..”let it be”.
But I believe grief is killing me
BLCostello©2024

Forgive me if unkind,
I only changed my mind,
And now, you are sad!
That happens all the time,
Sometimes is not always,
Disturbed is just a word,
I know I am not popular,
I have seen... and I have heard,
Yes, I know all about it.....
I am never surprised!
They never can their laughter,
or lower their judging eyes,
They never understand,
and now,
I wonder too,
Does anybody get it?
I am looking back at you

A dark little girl,
Everyday,
She's a creep,
Wednesday is not just the middle of the week,
She's a daughter,
A dancer,
Sometimes,
She's disgusted,
Her smile is secret,
Her shine is rusted,
If she likes you,
You are in luck,
She'll save you from the "Goo Goo Muck",
And if you dislike her....
That's okay!
"Deep down inside she like it that way".
Oh Wednesday,
Who knows what tomorrow may bring,
Perhaps...a black rose,
"Thank you, Thing....

Is that a woman?
I am really not sure,
I guess, for now, I will call them "her",
Is that a man?
Where do I begin?
I guess I will start calling them "him",
"Them"?
Oh no....that's a new story,
Somewhere we decided two genders were boring,
Sometimes, its confusing,
But, it will change soon,
"Those were the Days", called the tune,
"Girls were girls and men were men",
And everyone...
Sometimes...got called THEM

They made us sick,
Then locked us in,
That was only the begin,
Product shortage,
Labor too,
“They won’t go back",
****, would you?
A man suffocated,
Someone took a knee…..
Our atmosphere is burning,
Now, nobody breaths,
Just pull up that mask,
Get back to work!
We’re angry ,
We’re scared,
And we all look like jerks,
Gun control?
They’ll  fight it,….I guess,
We'll all be cowboys in the wild wild west
BLCostello©2023

I am feeling pretty bad,
Stop picking my scab,
I am starting to fester,
Your making me mad,
What happened there,
Left me here,
Your are removed,
I am in tears,
It is better this way,
I think you were wrong,
The scar is still here,
But, I am glad you are gone.

I am feeling pretty bad,
Stop picking my scabs,
I am starting to fester,
Your making me mad,
What happened there,
Left me here,
You are removed,
I am in tears,
It is better this way,
I think you were wrong,
The scar is still here,
But I am glad you are gone

She is only 3ft 4,
I could not adore her more,
That smiling face is always talking,
She is a little miracle walking,
Hide and seek,
She loves to play nurse,
Then...her treatment,
First things first,
So many challenges,
Each day is a test,
and when she is with us,
We are blessed

I met her when her hair was black,
Mine was covered with a cap,
As I grew,
We knew each other,
My hair has been many colors,
And now,
While she approaches night,
Still pulled back,
Her hair is now white,
The thought of her loss,
Makes me afraid,
My eyes wet,
and premature gray
BLCostello©2023

I still don’t know why,
Or if anyone knows,
I was different then,
It was long ago,
It was new and dangerous,
Like a loaded gun,
You asked me to stay,
I should have run,
But, I stayed….
It was easier….
Just to accept,
Boundaries challenged,
Russian roulette,
And that was how you blew my mind,
I think I lost,
But I had a great time!
© BLCostello 2023

My father knew you.
I am glad that he did
I had everything when I was a kid,
My mother begrudged you,
She gave you, your due,
But I was always…afraid of you,
The worry,
The wonder,
How long would you last?
Always counting,
Hating the math,
Getting,
Taking,
I tried to be brave,
I worked to earn you,
Now…I am a slave,
Covet or loathe,
You are necessary
Broke or rich,
You are still scary!
BLCostello©2022

He is never home Christmas Eve,
It’s always been that way,
Childless,
She’s home alone with cookies freshly made,
She’ll wait and watch  the weather,
But usually will nod off,
He’ll wake her with a kiss,
“Merry Christmas, Mrs Claus”
BLCostello©2022

I opened my eyes,
Such sweet surprise
Toast with no egg,
Still breakfast in bed,
Oh what a night!
We met at the bar,
We walked each other home,
…..Neither had a car,
But I never made it,
I lost the fight,
Our goodnight kiss …..
Lasted all night,
Beneath my juice,
I see a note,
Perhaps a phone number
I read with hope….
“I’ve gone to school,
I had a good time,
There’s coffee down stairs,
My mom’s gets home at 9”
BLCostello©2022

I do not agree with the spiders you see,
They're real for you,
Not for me,
I cannot get tangled in your web,
But I will call you out when your trapped in your head,
When life is more than you can stand,
When your on the ledge,
I'll hold your hand,
I will bandage your wounds and ice your lumps,
When I cannot reach you,
I'll scream, "don't jump"!
I will do anything to keep you from harm,
But I can't take that needle out of your arm,
Even when you beg me....
"Leave"!,
I still can't see them.....I don't agree,
I am going to stay,
I will help you try,
Please succeed,
Stay alive.

Remarkable,
How time passes,
Soon we all return to ashes,
Friends,
Parents,
A couple of pets....
I will live and learn to accept,
I light another cigarette,
Smiling because I still have hope,
That tear in my eye is from the smoke,
I just wish I could get some rest,
But I'm worried about the pain in my chest.
BLCostello©2022

She stares at the mirror,
Reflecting on her past,
It been a long time,
Through the looking glass,
Remembering the fall,
She knows she did not sink,
She may have landed better if she never took that drink,
It could have turned out different,
Everyone makes mistakes,
She should have had a salad,
Not that piece of cake,
At least she made some friends......and few nasty habits,
She always kept her head,
but she never caught that rabbit
©BLCostello 2022

When you hold your head in disgust,
I wonder...are you thinking of us?
I worry,
I do that...All the time!
I just wish I could change your mind,
I wish I was thinner,
I wish I was brave,
I wish you could tell me I am okay,
But....you won't,
So...Maybe...I am not,
I'm sorry,
I interrupt a lot,
It seems the only things we discuss,
Are disagreements between us,
Regardless of motive or my intent,
It ends up as an argument,
You're always mad,
I am always trying,
It used to easy,
But now,
I am dying.
© BL Costello 2022

Your making it hard
I don’t know what’s next
I never wanted to be your ex
I know them *******
I remember you said,
You don’t give a ****
You wish they were dead
Your absolute,
I do believe too,
Every time you say “f#%k you,”
I think I was wrong,
Is my time up?
You don’t have to remind me….I’m f#%ked
I know I have problems
We all need help
But you don’t have any…
So go f#%k yourself
©BL Costello 2022

No time to be kind,
Too much on your mind,
Because you are wrestling the hands of time,
Something is wrong,
I don’t know what,
When I ask,
I always interrupt,
Angry or mean?
I cannot decide,
And it makes me nervous,
Afraid to ask why

She is 82,
Mark the date
No family left to celebrate,
Just a son who seldom calls
"2 years he hasn't remembered at all"
"It doesn't matter, his job is hard",
Sometime this month she'll get a card,
signed with love and sealed with a kiss
It reminds her she's old,
and of the day he missed

I loved when you took care of me,
You gave me everything,
Now your gone and all I want is you
BLCostello©2022

Safe in my car,
I felt no fear,
Until I looked in the rearview mirror,
More frightening now,
No cars in the street,
A shadowy figure was in my back seat,
Strange,
I thought I was alone,
Apparently someone,
Was following home,
Without a response,
I blessed myself saying,
“My God is stronger than anyone else",
Suddenly, I felt no longer alone,
The reflection was gone, and I was at home

A pandemic waning,
Laws are changing,
The world maybe going to war,
And I forgot my lunch today,
Could I miss my mother more?
I guess I should just, “**** it up",
And me without a straw,
No wonder I am so confused,
I am in a state of awe,
Childless and feeling old,
Soon...we’ll all be gone,
I don’t want to die!
Have I done something wrong?
I made it into work today,
That’s just what I do,
I am feeling very sensitive,
I wish I was with you,
But I will carry on
I will not succumb to defeat,
I think I am gonna make it,
I wish I had something to eat!
BLC©2022

Welcome to Gotham!
Here is your pass,
“Just a little pin *****”,
Pull up your mask,
The Joker’s still laughing,
“Boys will be girls”
Enjoy your ****,
“It’s a messed up world”
Bat man is out there,
Make no mistake,
You would never notice without the cape,
Yes, the weeds legal,
But it going fast,
“Space cowboy” says hi,
Pull up your mask.
BLC©2022

Impressions do not last,
How was I to know?
When the seasons changed
They melted with the snow,
The ground so ****** white
That crunched beneath my feet,
Is no longer pretty,
Mud seeps underneath,
At least it’s not so cold,
I am warmer now,
It’s true
Now I impress no man
Or care about my shoes
@BLC 2022

Against my nature,
And all of my plans,
I reached for you,
You extended your hand,
“Hold on”,
You said,
“I will always be there”
When I lost my grip,
You pulled my hair,
Ignoring my tears,
I begged you…
”let go”,
You only yanked harder,
Telling me…”no”,
I am tired,
My battles never ends,
Are you my bully,
My lover,
Or friend?
Tell me,
I’ll listen,
We can have a good life
Sometimes,  
Let go!
And just say,
I’m alright
BLC©2022

I have asked you for years,
You always reply,
“I like what I see",
“Honey, your fine"
I guess I felt loved,
I cannot deny,
I know **** well,
Sometimes….you lie,
That is just something,
When I am down…..
I just do,
It lifts me up when you approve,
I was packing my lunch,
Just dreading work,
I cry way too easy,
You know…”the truth hurts",
Like sleeping alone,
When you come to bed late,
I am sorry I asked,
And I gained so much weight.
BLC©2022

Living without you,
We’re living with it,
We’ll always wonder,
Who gave you that ****,
I’ll always remember,
We told you…before,
You said,
“I don’t do that anymore”,
We love you,
We miss you,
Our family is shattered,
If you lied or slipped,
It does not matter,
Your gone forever,
It’s hard to admit,
But we’re living without you,
And living with it

I thought it was right,
But I was so confounded,
You see…I did not KNOW,
That was just how it sounded,
How sweet the music is,
Sometimes, it ends too soon,
“Ignorance is bliss”
And, usually out of tune,
Life is not perfect,
We all survive by chance,
And sometimes we look stupid when we try to dance!
BLC©2022

I think I'm dying,
I am to scared to ask
The government’s lying
Pull up your mask,
The shelves are low
Some do without,
I sneezed,
Someone shouted,
“Cover your mouth”!
The order is mute
I wonder why?
The only thing exposed are my eyes,
I am disgusted,
Without a reply
Tasting my sneeze,
I lower my eyes,
I am scared,
I pray,
What else can I do?
It would have been nice,
To hear, "Bless you".
©BLC 2022

Nic the knife,
Mac's little brother,
His daddy is Jack,
Lizzy's his mother,
A born killer,
He'll tear you apart,
Handsome too,
But not as sharp

Everyone’s begging for armageddon  
They all want to see the blood,
Punish them all
Lock them up
But all we need is love
It’s not about ***,
It not about baby’s
**** his ring
No one can save me
Nobody sees behind my mask
Or touches me without a glove
We are all becoming senseless
And all we need is love
BLCostello©2021

I wanted to work,
But business was slow,
My boss left six months ago,
So the job I loved and the place just changed,
I pulled up my mask,
Nothing's the same,
I hate interviewing  
They can't see my face,
“10 years...and you just left the place?”,
As if it was all for my enjoyment,
”Over a year, you we're on unemployment?”
I just feel judged,
I'm still not well,
3 months….I still can't smell,
“We'll call you”,
Did he smiled?
He did sound cordial…..
God help me survive the
New Normal

BLCostello©2021

The music was much more,
When you had nothing to say
So, whether I read or not,
I interpreted anyway,
Such a thrill it was,
Amazed I sat in the dark
So many shades of gray!
Then talkies broke our hearts

BLCostello©2021

My muse does tickle,
I cannot deny,
but she does not stop…until I cry,
so I try to be happy,
I want to be free,
but then I miss her,
touching me,
With  a tear in my eye,
I reach for my pen,
begging for her to touch me again

BLCostello©2021

Smile,
You're on camera,
They know who you are,
They know what you did,
and where you park your car,
and it's all been written,
so you better read your script,
Because big brother is watching,
And God is getting ******,
So smile,
We're all pretty,
They know who you are,
Hero or villain,
Baby you're a star
BLCostello©2021

As if it had something to prove,
It stayed right there,
It did not move,
And I kept coming,
Expecting  the best,
I could have missed it!
I failed that test,
I just kept going,
it went too far,
I’ll  dry my tears,
and I'll wash my car,
I never meant it to come to this
An accident or a death wish?

Oh where have all the flowers gone?
And the hippies who used to sit on our lawns?
Granny glasses with braids in their hair,
They didn't shave or use underwear,
my father told me,  
They were crazy!
But I liked their smoke and colorful babies,  
The crocheted headbands
The tie dyed shirts,
Their naked feet and long patched skirts,
We could use some now,
Will they ever return?
Oh when will we ever learn!
BLCostello©2021

Smile, mommy!
Her child asked,
She said,
"I am",
And then they laughed

Don’t ask,
I’ll wear my mask,
I’m already sick,
Will this pass?
More and more we disagree,
under his knee,
Covid-19,
Pandemic,
Social disease,
Virus,
Rascism,
“you’re killing me”
No justice,
No word from DC,
The air is heavy,
And… “I can’t breathe”
©BLCostello 2020

We all are made to break,
Fragile,
Who knows when,
That separation starts,
As soon as you bend,
Perhaps you changed your mind,
People often do,
Or maybe you just turned,
And saw a different view,
I guess it does not matter,
We all make mistakes,
Nothing’s ever perfect,
We all are made to break
B L Costell©2020

I am scared,
I am confused,
my heart is crying,
I am not afraid of going broke,
I am afraid of dying,
But how I miss your face,
A mask cannot hide beautiful,
I wish you would have worn it,
We can’t even have a funeral
B L Costello ©2020

It’s not about you,
It’s not about me
It’s that f** virus covid-19
I don’t want to miss you.
I already do,
But I know I will see you when this is through
“It could peek again”,
Some experts expect,
I already spent that stimulus check,
But a nation divided,
Is sure to fall,
So, stay home and cook dinner,
They closed the mall,
There are so many things we can do without,
And we can save the world right from our couch
B L COSTELLO©2020

Social distance,
Stay in the house!
All that changes,
The shape of my couch,
I ate all  my snacks,
They went too quick,
Tonight, I'll binge more netflix,
I don't dare complain,
Thank God....I am fine,
God bless Cuomo and our frontline.

Social distance,
Staying inside,
I don’t have a fever,
I am drunk and I am high,
God, help us!
Forgive my addiction,
But life feels like science fiction,
I don’t really know how much I can stand,
Between naps....I play Rocket Man,
The numbers increase,
We're losing the pace,
I am never going to touch my face

©B L Costello 2020

Is it a lesson or is it a test?
I am unstudied,
But I try my best,
And you so smart,
Life is not fair,
You already know I am unprepared.
©B L Costello 2020

The world so turned away from his love,
I have to wonder,
Is this the “Flood”?
Karma reminds,
The is no end,
“What comes around goes around, again“,
That being said,
Who could dare say?
Is the Savior here?
Is this judgement day?
Depending on your sentiment,
It could be old testament,
The decision alone makes me age,
Its just a virus,
Its not the plaque
©B L Costello 2020

I gave her all she needed to live,
Catholic school,
Then college,
My little princess!
I covered all bases,
Cheer leading,
Dance,
Glasses and braces,
For her,
There was no in-between,
17 a beauty queen,
She turned 18 and wanted a car,
But I was afraid to go that far,
“Wait till your 20”
I put down my foot,
Teary eyed, my child was shook,
Now I wish I had never denied her,
She ran away with an Uber Driver
©B L Costello 2020

The worry the dread and all the doubt,
I think out loud but will not shout,
I know what other people may say,
They don’t know I was born this way
Strumming my uke sets me free,
Then I wonder…..Do penguins have knees?
Obsession, starts,
I cannot quit,
Does my gold fish have lips?
Distracted,
Annoyed,
I don’t know the answers,
I think I am okay,
Do I have cancer?
Over whelmed,
Did I pay that bill?
Fu-k!, it on the mantle still
Its 2 in the morning,
Saturday,
There’s nothing to do but shut up play
©B L Costello 2020

She stood behind him, but she did not hide,
She offered her hand,
And it was denied,
He lied for an hour, Enough was enough,
He said goodnight,
and she ripped it up.