Why is it
that you cross my mind
even when I thought I had
gotten over you

those old feelings
seem to resurface
even when I tried to suppress them
Something about you
reels them back in
leaving me broken inside
because I know
I could never have you

As much as I hate
this pain inside
I'm like a drug addict:
Even if I try to stop
I always fall back
Relapse
come back for more
for that feeling

the sweet taste lingers
I can still feel you on the tips of my fingers

I can't get you out of my mind
you're all I seem to find

even after all this time
I still find myself coming back to you
like a heinous crime

but I never reach your field of view
even if I wanted too
you would never see me
for I just can't find the words
so I end up blue
while thinking of you

in order for me
to get better it seems
that being broken
is the only way to learn
how to heal

Thin lines
Paint my skin

Those memories kick in

The cold swipe
like ice across my skin

The warm crimson flows
the sight
only numbs me

The feeling I yearn for
is no longer found through the open wounds

it seems impossible to find

You look in the mirror;
You try
and try
and try
to get yourself to like what you see
but your damaged mind
only lets you see the worst of it all
Too fat
Too ugly
Disgusting
Too depressed
Not good enough
Not good enough
Not good enough!
It screams and shouts
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
MAKE IT STOP!!!!

The long nights
where i lay awake
wondering why
i feel so heavy
why does it feel as if i am dragging myself
dragging an empty
broken
worn and torn
vessel?