Nomad 69 days ago
TravelingMan
Homeless Man
Tin Man on the
       Yellow Brick Road.

HelpingMan
Cleaning Man
SavingMan
Told he had to go.

Austin, Boston
      Does it really matter.
HatedMan
BlackoutMan
ForgivenMan
ReservationMan
FuckItMan­
Westward Nomad would go.

Phoenix, Mesa, Tempe
LovedMan
     For about 2 days
Told he was ReboundMan
Then DespisedMan
HalfBlackedOutMan
LimitedContactMan
FuckingAMan
In reality
A truly DistractedLOSTMAN...

TinMan down
Frowned
On the ground
What happened
Didn't happen
But the brown
Turned to BLACK
Slacked into lack.

Feelings reeling
Heart burst
Like glass
Splintered into ash
Nomad crawling
Sprawling
Couldn't feel the grass.

Can't count minutes
Thru hours
Stretched to DAYS
The silence of no contact
Howling in the wind
Stillness so BLACK
Cutting like a knife.

Nomad finally mounting
Getting to his knees
13 DAYS no contact
To black to see the sun
A crack of light
Screaming
Beaming
Like music
Mona Lisa breathing
Chuckling
Teasing
Nomad to his feet
Hearing a heart beat
Seeing the moon's silvery glow
It all begin to flow
13 days of Black
Absolutely no contact
Worse than dead
Nomadic shook his head
Mona Lisa said
Honey, come to bed.

Yellow Brick Road
Land of OZ
Lion scared
Scarecrow crazy
TinMan struggling
Wizard gizmo mugging.

Homeless man
Traveling man
Nomadic man
Had to go.

Left more in Kansas
Than he brought
******* feelings
Totally out of control.

All that searching
Never ever knew
Garden of Eden
Mona Lisa dancing
Lake Wilson trancing
Nomad confused
Gone distracted.

4 years drifting
Always on the road
Never realizing
Never knowing
Never analyzing
Never caring
For what did he know.

TinMan found his heart
TinMan lost his heart
Nomad down
******* Yellow Brick Road.

OZ of the magic land,
Puff down by the sea,
Mona Lisa smiling,
Nomad yet to be...

It happened,
It didn't happen,
It couldn't happen,
It shouldn't happen,
It wouldn't happen,
Impossible to happen,

IT HAPPENED...

The power of recovery,
Love ❤ the power greater,
Than each other,
The uniqueness of similarity,
How could it not happen...

Happy it happened
Mona Lisa smiling
Saying it didn't happen...

Mona Lisa 7 days in,
Beaten lost confused terrified
Recovery gangstA in the hood,
Pushpush, pulloull,bimbam,
Coach hollering at her,
Sarge growling at her...

He hates her, she can't do this,
It just don't work.
But she ain't using
She starts back eating,
And this ******* starts cleaning her house,
Fixing her bathroom,
Pruning her yard,
But he hates her...

Minute by minute,
Hour by hour,
The Spirit grows
Mona getting stronger
Listening, taking,working
Following the suggestions
Maybe, just maybe,
There is a Wizard of OZ,
.   BUT he hates her...

Mona Lisa clowned
Mona Lisa frowned
Lynda said she got browned
Lynda rolling, toiling, gliding
Hitting a meeting in town.

Riding, jammin, bamming
Moonlight in the lightning
Lynda cramming, driving
Blasting to the beat...

Badass ***** hitting, smashing
Thundering in recovery
You don't do Lynda,
Maybe or
Maybe not....Dummy

No one told me
so i'm telling you
i expected grief to feel like sadness
but i wasnt told that
that it makes your whole body ache from morning until night
and even in your sleep
and that it makes your hands sting from numbness
making buttoning your jeans impossible
and that some days clumps of your hair fall out
but having a good hair day is the least of your worries
and morbid thoughts attack like being ***** slapped upside your head
hurting so bad you actually pass out in mid sen--
But it's nothing like the sadness i had expected to feel
i've known clinical depression since age 4
and that feeling of curling up in the fetal position
waving the white flag of surrender
trying to make yourself into the tiniest ball of nothing
But grief is a flammable substance
and you can feel it as it ignites the flame of your soul
it feels like being angry in a righteous way
like when jesus knocked over the flea market vendor's tables at the temple
like being so ******* at all of the scales that are inbalanced
and it is the fuel that makes you want to correct the injustices of the world
and become larger than you are
and shower love compassion and truth over evil
no one told me that grief feels like this
so i'm telling you