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Bo Burnham Mar 2015
I want to beat you to death with a blunt object.

I want to grab one of those high-end fashion mannequins by the ankles and bash your ribcage in.

I want to sharpen fifty pencils, bind them with a rubber band, stick the lead ends in your mouth, and punch the erasers.

I want to strap you to a bed of nails and then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car so I can watch you suffer as we drive over speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake.

I want to burn your dog in front of you, mix his ashes with gunpowder, melt his bone-shaped name tag into a small metal ball, load it all into a musket, and shoot you in the face with him.

I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash and then somehow not survive a small fender ****** on the way back from the hospital.
Bo Burnham Mar 2015
Her eyes were like fire.
They weren't red or anything.
Not particularly warm, either.
They didn't glow or "appear to glow,"
whatever that means.

But they had that same strange blend of
familiar and miraculous---
and they were always nice to look at
after a long day of doing things.
Bo Burnham Mar 2015
There goes someone.
                                    Here goes nothing.
#6w
Bo Burnham Mar 2015
I wrote you a letter,
and then another letter,
and another, and another,
until I wrote you a word.

So I wrote you a word,
and then another word,
and another, and another,
until I wrote you a sentence.

So I wrote you a sentence,
and then another sentence,
and another, and another,
until I wrote you a letter.

I hope it finds you as I found you.

Yours truly,
Yours, truly.
Bo Burnham Mar 2015
I'll give you till the count of six.
One.
Now run!
Two.
Go *****!
Three.
Let me be!
Four.
There's the door!
Five.
While I'm still alive!
Six.
Please stay, I love you.
Bo Burnham Mar 2015
You're incomparable, like a..
****.
Like a...
Bo Burnham Mar 2015
I like that thing you do with your tongue.
What do you call it?
Speaking?
Yeah, I dig it.
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