my mason jar heart,
chipped, cracked, stained with wine,
has often been filled
with tears for those gone,
romantic picnics,
porch evenings on
swings or rocking chairs,
too many secrets,
but great memories.

there was a time before we fell
into this ravine where we are now,
when i reminded myself to know
my boundaries. to recall that i've been
broken enough before to gamble my heart again.
to think things through before i spit them out
of my mouth. i can still remember that i never
wanted you the way that i do now.
i never intended to.
all i wanted was to ***** your monochromatic heart
and feel you bleed sweet technicolor lies and lullabies.
but now, where are we now?
i chased after you, bleeding yourself dry you told me
without turning your head, that you're through with me.
that you're done trying to make me feel sunshine and
sunflowers within me when i'm unhappy.
so i stopped running.
and i watched you go as you carried with one hand
your heart and its veins drenched in black and white.

Collective thoughts reflected
Back
Sound good when you think out loud
Everyone agrees
Wouldn't you say so?

I walked back and forth.. and still am.. direction unclear and the path ahead seems new to me… will walk it up and down, left and right...

So let us  play all the way until the end of days...

At times the play’s writer and many others the play’s actor!

I  will walk down that path again, I will walk down that path again and again and again.

Try it one more time, and why not, what is there to lose… I will run as fast as I did and maybe faster .. yeah maybe faster , faster than my slower thoughts, my handicapped boots, stepping on all my delusional  roots..

Yes, furiously more than I have ever did!  Try and die to be resurrected again from the living dead

Down that path again and again and again ..  jump up again.. mess up again! Round and round again, linear , circular... to slide on that steep *****…..again.. .  Failures multiplied by ten, countless sins and a zest  for love, again!