And when you find
yourself wanting
me again,
look above and
see how wonderful
the stars are —that’s what
you have
lost.

Your childish lies have nothing of a true meaning
because you never saw what truly went on inside my mind.
The cogs were turning, but the wheels got stuck in the muck
that you had left behind when you decided that it was time to bid me adieu.
That child inside me broke
Like the Bay Lake dam that came crashing and tumbling down,
the waters swirling into the ever after.
Leaving me behind, alone, with the lonely company of the silt and the sand.
And then, I wept.

In the echoing sadness around me
voids grow wider
deflating more hearts
less hopeful, by the second

it's not the life I dreamt of
in the blackness of my childhood nights
the future glimmering before me - I was sure
a shining thing;

I could only imagine vibrant beauty,
abundance
possibilities for stunning joy
but

there are things outlined in the mist
vast and terrible
not foreseen
my innocent thoughts danced elsewhere

the only things I hoped for
have been stomped
to dust
by the villainous reality

I handed you my soul
My heart and sanity
My dreams and demons
The scar runs so deep
The slightest scratch brings
Blood to the surface
The blood runs from the veins
To the ground
My footsteps imprinted in the blood
As I try to move away
I wake thinking it’s just a bad dream
But my vivid memory of the pain
The lies
Brings me face to face with reality
I did a dangerous thing
I let you see my vulnerability
And you devoured me
In just seconds you broke me down
The blood stain hard to wash away
You watched me lose sense
Lose control Lose my mind
All in the fantasy of your life
It was never going to end with
Love
It could only end the way it was in
Lies and pain
The blood stain hard to wash away

Judgmental glances
Burning holes in her back
With the devil she dances
Once white is now black

When you gamble
You will loose
And the darkness
He will choose

If you open the door
He will surely enter
Back again once more
To smother the ember

He won't stop at anything
Not till you're in ruins
Nevermore to sing
He dances to the invisible tune

I dip my toes in to check the temperature
Of life's running  stream
Sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's cold
Sometimes in between

I struggle at times to keep my balance
Where I don't fall in and get swept away
That seems to be a challenge
I'm faced with day to day

While I see some out there cliff diving
And others riding massive waves
Most of the time I watch from the shore
Where I can play it safe

That's not to say that I myself don't take
Time out for a swim
Though careful where I go cause you never know
So I mostly stick to the shallow end