i dont write too much
i write just enough
i write just enough
that when i'm done
i can look back in embarrassment
and say
****.
i really ****
it hurts my chest
that something more couldn't be said
or done
wished
or won
in order for me
to gain the
affections
of the world
through my ****** writing

DISCLAIMER: EATING DISORDER/SELF HARM
wow i am upset to my stomach
the image of me forcibly shoving
my index finger
and my
                                                     middle
finger
joinedbytheknuckles
d
o
w
n
my throat
washes
over
me
over
and
over
again..
that i just might do it.
this is no cry for help
its the demon in me testing to see if i am ballsy enough for one last try
versus
the voice of my therapist saying i will ruin my entire recovery if i do this.

SCRATCH
BITE
SMOTHER
GRASP
                                                        love
                                                        kiss
                                                        embrace
                                                        wet

leave me here
let me
h
a
n
g
my sorrows
l o o s e l y
around my curves.


.m.c.

AWAKEN
suddenly..
forcibly drowned: reality.
What happens when the old becomes the new again?
...When every creeping moment of
redemption and healing
amount to failure?
I try so hard.
Abandon me.
at the side of the road.
                                                                ­         alone.
so i can reflect on
Everything.

.m.c.

fair streams embrace me in the glory of your presence.
fill my heart with unspeakable joy.
enlighten each pore with your flawless essence
every inch of my body vibrates with your tender touch.
you hold me gently.
baby, you're the ultimate crutch.  
sweetie, never let me out of your clutch.

(m.c)