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Manic dependency renders our potential listless
Loneliness incites a lapse in rational elation
   to the point of annoying excitement
      over similarities in our situations
along with the naive belief that dreams
   and Deja Vu mean anything
My wrists are starting to itch
I'm overreacting again
I don't know if it was worse thinking everything was my fault, or knowing that you were never really my little raindrop
At least I'm not in love with you anymore, but that hurts, too
Every kiss, and every laugh seems fake now
My soul was always absent, but now I've lost my heart
You're getting better so fast, and I'm still here just bleeding out
The worst part is that I don't think even having you back would help
I'm so barren that I can feel it in my chest, it aches so deep
Dreams are my only reprieve, but they're fleeting, and waking up might as well be dying over and over again
There's no more hate to guard my open wounds
Emptiness doesn't mean unfeeling
There's just nothing to help shield me
When I last looked into your eyes
I found nothing- to my surprise
In regards of what you mean to me
('Meant', I should say, actually)
In God's name I ask what the **** am I supposed to do with these?
A decade of memories
Pretend they don't bother me?
Though constant, bitter fear
And lack of death
Become living emptiness
Replete in dissonance
A lost cause-
For in my mind
I just can't be enough
I never speak in my dreams
But I always wake up to screams
I swear this should hurt
   but it doesn't
Not like it should at least
Not at all like it used to
Purging a venom that has
   coursed through
my veins long enough
      to dilute every drop
         feels oddly
I miss what you meant to me.
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