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In some ways, I am quite certain
That I am one of the only ones
who feels this way....

A degree to my name, a certification
That I have paid my dues in the
system of education

According to this piece of paper,
In reference to the past four years
I have fulfilled all requirements
for an undergraduate degree
I am done
There are no more exams I am required to take
No more classes recommended for my
area of study

I am free
I have completed my education
Society has congratulated me, and
is ready to welcome me
In the workplace
In the field of "my" choosing

According to everyone else, I should be thrilled
I am not required to ever return to academia
Most in my position are relieved that it is over

....but not me

I see students
Backpacks filled with laptops and textbooks
Some walking alone, some with others
Some have just begun their journey
Some are nearly finished
The rest are thrown in the middle
Lost but searching
Be it for an answer for their course
Or an answer for their time, their days....

I have nothing but jealousy towards
My friends, whose days will be filled with
Courses
Exams
Textbooks
Notebooks
And all that classes demand of them

I wish so desperately to return
But for the same area of study as my bachelor's degree?

I feel lost
A lost that will lead me to the correct path, with time I know
But is it normal to feel this way?

All I know is how to be a student
And I quite vigorously threw myself into this profession
And I have succeeded....

....but must it end?

May I return to my education, my dream that I so desperately miss?
 Aug 2013 Blain Rogers
adis g
I wish every day would last forever,
like they seem to in the summer.
With nothing to do
but dwell in your thoughts
and bask in loneliness.

Human contact is annoyingly necessary
and sometimes
I wish I could escape it.
I'd like to be alone,
away from judgements,
just me and my thoughts.
Just me and my wants, hopes, dreams, desires,
sifting and floating in my eyes
and in my mind.

I see them quite clearly now,
only the thin fog of time clouds my view,
making them seem like an illusion.
Why do I wish for the future
with such anxiety
and at the same time,
long for the past?

Everything is temporary.
That thought has been headlining
every corner of my ideas
and hopefulness.
Everything is temporary,
everything is an illusion
just waiting to dissolve into the past
wanting me to miss it
and yearn for it back.

Everything ends the same.
Why worry about a broken window
a ripped page,
a battered heart,
when everything will end up fixed,
or in the trash,
or healed and scarred over.

Everything ends up in the past
and the things you once looked forward to
with such fear and excitement
become irrelevant.

If material possessions aren't important,
then what is?
Possessions are all we have.
We possess cars, computers, phones, clothes,
books, money,
knowledge.
Everything we know, feel, do,
are revolved around what we possess.
What more is there?

Even love is a possession.
You hold it, you keep it,
you cherish it,
and it's painful to part with it.

Everything in life is temporary,
nothing can cause joy
without eventually
causing pain.

Nothing gold can stay.
Music, sweet sweet music.... ♫
Take me away, let me soar to the sky
Take me to a place where problems are solved
by the greatest lyrics, the perfect beat
The music will take me to a place
where life was as simple as being yourself
as simple as loving life, and everything in it

Music, sweet sweet music.... ♫
Take me to my love
May I hold him in my arms, and never let go
May a day never go by that he thinks he is unloved
may I love him always and forever, for who he is,
and who he is not; and if it possible
may he love me back

Music, sweet sweet music.... ♫
Tell me what is wrong, tell me what is right
Tell me what to do
Tell me I'm not crazy, tell me I'm not sane
tell me what it is I have to do so I do what I'm supposed to
tell me I'm not wrong.... tell me I'm not right
just please.... just tell me....

Music, bless'ed sweet music.... ♫
Show me life, show me hope, show me faith, show me peace
Show me death, show me pain, show me sorrow, show me unrest
Show me what it's like to feel emotion
It doesn't matter what emotion,
just let me feel....

Music, sweet sweet music.... ♫
♫♪♫♪
Your angry
So am I
We all resent
This great divide
Your powerless
And full of strife
And  what we lack
We seek to find

But You’ll never find
What your looking for
By breaking windows
Or smashing in doors
Your anger’s shown
A mighty flaw
‘when things get tough
Resort to war’

In this fire
Is see the pain
That runs so thick
Through every vein
A fire so big
That even the rain
Could not put this country
To peace again


When will
they ever realise?
The frustration hiding
Behind our eyes
DOES matter
Whatever strength or size
But those who could help
Do not hear our cries

so thus somehow
you chose to fight
though the day
through the night
with no sign of mercy
the flames ignite
when will we ever
get it right?
 Jul 2013 Blain Rogers
Circa 1994
You like me more when you're asleep.
I seem prettier through your closed eyelids.
My voice is more sing-songier over your snores.
My touch feels electric.
I'm as real as you want me to be.
I exist as long as you're sleeping.
Emotions tangled
Meshed through time
Lessons taught
Often thought fine

Decisions made
By our own minds
Change the course of nature
Disrupts the steady tides

Written on parchment
Epics from life
Coloring each thought
Sometimes stopped by knife

Ideas challenged by thought
Answered swift by reaction
Grouped by views and faith
Life by faction

History decides
What becomes of us
Smooth black lines
Shown beyond dust
one of many
i have already
blown out the
birthday candles,
closed my eyes on
11:11
and whispered upon
shooting stars.

the dandelions
in my garden
are now gone
and for some
strange reason,
so are all the
four-leaf clovers.
and in the fountain,
you will find
all my change.

and i am
extremely confused
to why we
haven't both
fallen in love.
now not only are the
wishbones
broken,
but so
am
**i.
i am surrounded
by such beautiful faces  
and delicate bones.
and to come
across the thought
that there is a
broken heart
behind their comforting eyes,
makes me weak.
and behind fragile arms
are scars.
and i dont feel any pain,
or the need to  f a d e  away
but why are such beautiful faces,
so far into the obscurity?
and why do they have the most
insecurities
and
incomplete happiness?
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