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Some days your mind floats like dandelions,
wandering aimlessly
on and on.

Like magic,
like dust,
like time you cannot touch–
you are lost in your universe
crushing dreams and unweaving expectations

Until suddenly,
gravity pulls you back
into your sheets.

Your eyes,
hostaged in reality,
come back in its consciousness

You wake up,
let a tear drop,
and feel bad for breathing.
Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down
hell is a place where
you constantly love those that
do not love you back.
Did you know I loved you
when you left, last fall?
I didn't tell you
but, I thought you saw.
Now, you're not that far
still you never call.

I'm happy now
well, I want to be.

Sometimes, I wonder
do you think of me?
My eyes has been
wide open all night
like a corpse’s eyes

Would you come and
gently close them for
me so I can finally sleep?
I wanted to write a poem about how much I’ve missed her, and I guess this is my way of saying it.
I look at my hand
once this was yours
and in yours at all times
you liked it that way
I didn't complain

I look at my finger
where your ring used to be
you placed it there with a promise
I never believed it was real
and I was right
it wasn't
Maybe if you love me I'll love you

Maybe if I disappear I will be forgotten

Maybe if I'm clingy you will leave

Maybe if it's dark you won't have to see me cry

Maybe if I break your heart you'll shatter mine

Maybe if it's loud I can finally scream

Maybe if you hold me I'll hold you

Maybe when I smile you'll think it's real

Maybe when I laugh it won't sound fake

Maybe when I cry my face will feel dry

Maybe in the morning my wrist'll be stained red

Maybe one day I'll actually stay in bed

Maybe one day I'll find a way

Maybe one day there will no longer be a tomorrow

Maybe one day won't end in sorrow

Maybe one day I won't miss you at night

Maybe one day I won't wake up in tears

Maybe one day I'll sleep my life away

Maybe one day I'll die in a peaceful way

Maybe one day I'll only be a memory

Maybe one day I'll be able to say I'm okay

Maybe one day I'll marry my past

Maybe one day I'll accept my reality

Maybe one day I'll wear colour again

Maybe one day I won't feel so numb

Maybe one day when I cut I'll feel the pain

Maybe one day I'll stop pushing people away

Maybe one day I'll let someone stay

Maybe one day I won't have to lie

Maybe one day I'll write one last poem

Maybe one day I'll face my fears

Maybe one day your smile will no longer dry my tears

Maybe one day you'll leave me behind

Maybe one day I'll be left to cry

Maybe one day I'll have heard a thousand goodbyes

Maybe one day I'll be able to look into your eyes

Maybe one day you'll stop feeding them lies

Maybe one day I'll hear your bark again

Maybe one day I'll stop missing you

Maybe one day I'll stop crying over you

Maybe one day you'll stop loving me

Maybe one day I won't miss you so much

Maybe one day I'll stop collecting

Maybe one day I'll only wear one

Maybe one day you'll leave me alone

Maybe one day I'll stop trying

Maybe one day I won't be able to cry

Maybe one day I'll burn them away

Maybe one day nothing will be the same

Maybe one day I'll be more careful

Maybe one day my memories of you will go away

Maybe one day there will no longer be a today

Maybe one day I'll officially declare you my forever and always

Maybe one day music won't be my only escape

Maybe one day I'll no longer want to die

Maybe one day you'll hold my tears at bay

Maybe one day I'll be led astray
January/ 29/ 2018/ 11:41PM/ 14 yrs old
In the morning,
alone,
I plant a pill
on my tongue,
and it blooms
like a chemical kiss

In the afternoon,
I wash my face and
wounds with blood

At midnight,
the rain pours
on my pillow,
but I don’t weep

Every night,
I sleep in the burning house,
but cannot feel its warmth
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