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 Nov 2018 Taylor
N
Some days I feel  everything at once
Some days I feel nothing at all
I let my thoughts consume me
I let everything consume me
Whatever that I do is wrong
Even if it isn’t wrong, it can’t be right
I’ve let everything pass me by
I do not seize opportunities
I don’t not make decisions
I just let things be
I just let things happen
I just let things come
I just let things go
I guess I’ll never be free
Never free from this
This deep water with crashing waves
I see a shore ahead and I try to swim as fast as I can
I dive back into the deep and dark waters because the violent waves scare me
But, the darkness was a shade blacker than black
I couldn’t breathe underwater anyway
It was useless
I either be on the surface
or,
underwater
But neither were those two things a way out.
A way out so that I can live
It was actually a way to die
 Nov 2018 Taylor
N
Existence is like colours and emotions mixed together

Sometimes my existence feels like a raging sulphurous flame of intense red and sometimes it feels empty yet deep like the melancholic blue ocean

Whatever my existence embodies, I want it to represent the rainbow, for the rainbow adds colours to people’s life.

But most of the time I feel that I don’t even exist and that I am absent in this world.

My existence feels black, also known as the absence of colour.
 Nov 2018 Taylor
John White
I don't believe in the devil
but I hear his voice every night
whispering in my ear,
"Do it,
win or lose,
just do it."

My grip on the bed sheets
is all that keeps me safe.
 Nov 2018 Taylor
Cherisse May
if I wrote you a suicide note,
will you care to read it?
will you leave me on "seen"
or will you leave me hanging?
What if I sent you a suicide note on a messaging app?

Because it might happen soon enough.
 Nov 2018 Taylor
Leah Shatzer
Clumsy heart
and a cluttered brain
all I seem to feel is pain
I take the blade, slide it down my wrist
and clench my catastrophic fist
I'm not okay, I'm not alright
I think about dying all day and all night
I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad
but for a long time now
I've been so so sad
but mom, you're not here
and dad, you don't care
and unfortunately I'm not all that scared
to take the blade
slide it down my wrist
and unclench my catastrophic clenching fist
 Nov 2018 Taylor
Nobody
Empty
 Nov 2018 Taylor
Nobody
There's no place to suffer,
no going away.
It's dark in here
all of my days.
No smiling lights,
no happy surprise.
Only this disguise,
of constant lies.
I know they bother them,
my sad eyes.
They can't bear to see,
they want me to hide.
Just stay empty inside,
so they won't feel down.
Still one by one,
they'll all turn around.
They won't ever stay,
or test their extent of pain.
They only obey
their impulse to stray far away.
They'll desert me to ache
in this dark hole they can’t take,
where I get no relief
not even in sleep.
So I guess save yourself
I’ll taint that light you keep.
I'll burden your soul,
til you can't take anymore.
Then I'll drain you dry
before I kiss you goodbye.
And you'll never know
when it's all done,
I'll still be empty
but you'll be gone.
 Nov 2018 Taylor
MeanAileen
I'm in love with a man
I know not to love,
his heart will never be free.
I waste my days
a slave to his ways-
knowing he will never love me.

He is the secret
I can never reveal,
the best lover I ever have known.
I've nothing to give
but my body.....it's his-
fresh dirt for him to bury his bone.

Hopelessly hooked
on him like a drug,
wanting him day and night.
I play his ***** game
I have no shame-
taking it all, knuckles white.

Dead is the conscience
I knew so well,
and morals.....they ran far away.
Clarity now blurry
in a love-drunk slurry-
the 'good me' has gone astray.

To lay with him
is playing with fire,
the flames...they burn me alive.
Leaving me marred
hurting and scarred-
the pain on which I thrive.

A fool for punishment
I beg for more,
even if all I am worthy of is ****.
Loving him breaks me
it overtakes me-
but I'm not willing to quit.

I die a little more
with each passing day,
until again, I get lost in those eyes....
All doubts go away
so for now I'll stay-
living this life of lies.
You can't always help who you fall in love with...
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