the summer goes by fast
always faster than the last
now the sunshine is past

and i will watch the golden fade
watch the darkness come my way
let the clouds roll in to start my day

have you ever watched the sky as it cried?
the trees while they died?
have you?

have you ever watched the leaves as they fall?
tried to catch them at all?
have you?

the greens will all turn to brown
and the blue skies will start to drown
the bright lights will say, "see you around."

the nights are suddenly longer
the days are so much harder
and the winds just keep getting stronger

have you ever watched the sky as it cried?
did you try to wipe it's eyes?
did you?

have you ever watched the leaves as they fall?
under your feet crushed them all?
did you?

and we will call it beautiful
as they fall apart
the raindrops and tear stains
will make a fine art

have you ever stopped to wonder
what it's like
to crumble beneath the pressure
to lose the light?

have you ever wondered what it's like to lose your fight?

now that i've forgiven you
it's time for me to apologize
for putting you on that pedestal
that was so very high
it hurt when you fell off.

your eyes remind me of the stars,
like the space i told my last love i needed.

if you say, "i'm right here."
when i tell you i miss you
one more time
i'm going to place my hand on your chest
just to see if your heart is still beating.

i bet twenty dollars that it's not.
i bet thirty that it is, just not for me.

if you say, "i know."
when i tell you i love you
one more time
i'm going to dust your heart for finger prints
to see if it's still mine.

i'll get a CAT-scan of your mind...
just to see if i'm still on it.

i'm tired of playing "go fish"
so i can guess what you're feeling
"got any love?"
because lately you won't show me your cards
but i'm pretty sure you still have my heart.

i look at your internet search history...
just to see if you're still looking for ways to make me smile.

there used to be something here,
alive and blooming and present;
it was beautiful.
the same way my mother's favorite vase was,
until it fell off the shelf and broke.

i check your mail box,
just to see if there are any love letters that you forgot to send.

there never are.

loving him was like loving a hurricane when you're afraid of storms.

when the days and nights start bleeding together
and your mind stops shutting off at the end of the day,
call me.
i can't guarantee you i will have anything to say
except,
“you're not the only one awake.”

because sometimes my mind forgets to go to sleep too,
and by sometimes, i mean almost always.

when you do finally close your eyes only to wake up
thirty minutes later, paralyzed in fear, body in panic mode,
call me.
i won't promise you i will have any words
except,
“i've had that nightmare.”

because sometimes my anxiety triggers those dreams too,
and by sometimes, i mean almost always.

when you leave your house the next morning
already dreading having to go through it again hours later,
call me.
i might not have anything to tell you
except,
“i understand.”

because sometimes i can't feel anything anymore either.
because sometimes it's like this has taken over my whole life.
because sometimes i'm so sick of living this way.
and by sometimes, i mean almost always.

so call me.

because sometimes you don't have to be on your own.
because sometimes you're not really alone.
because sometimes you don't even you know.
and by sometimes, i mean almost always.