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Sky Mar 2016
I'm scared
Terrified, really
Because I'm so busy thinking about what's next that I'm not living in the now
I spend day after day wasted
I can't even remember the days of the week or what time it is
I'm so tired all the time and I'm sick
of everything, of being me
Sky Feb 2016
In a sense, I am broken,
but mostly just lost
I can't seem to figure why two selfish people
and one Holy God would create me?
Upon entering I am to live and die
Exactly what am I living for?
How do I, one being out of seven billion people, make a mark on the world?
It cannot be love I am searching for, because I am hopeless and blatantly disgraceful in that aspect
A mother, it cannot be
I am too dismantled to raise a breathing human being,
something that would solely depend on me
Besides, why would I want to bring someone helpless into a cruel and unjust world?

Lazy and obviously lacking ambition with dreams I will never uphold, is the simplicity of me

So therefore, you see, I am a lost soul
Breathing until I am finally deceased
The most unfortunate fact of this news is that I have years of breathing and holding absolutely no meaning
Sky Jan 2016
Love me
Repeat it over and over
Until I believe it

It's the most exhausting thing I've ever done
And continous doubt runs through my veins
Laying in a heap on my bedroom floor, that's what I remember about our fight to stay alive
Repeat love me, love me
Until I believe it
Because if no one else can love me how can I even begin to love myself
Loving you was so much easier, such a clearer route
Loving me is so much more difficult, such a rougher route

Continue to repeat it in your head, love me, love me
Until I believe it
Loving myself is so difficult
Sky Nov 2015
Hey, hey
I know it's kind of late, but-
I'm sorry I don't know why I'm calling so late or at all to be honest,
Well I do know
It's just-
Look I miss you so much and I'm so **** sorry
I love you and I need you to come back home, okay? Okay?

We had a rough time for a while and you disappeared and now I can't breathe, im just choking and, and-****

Baby please come home, please come back
Sky Oct 2015
I am constantly thinking people are doing me wrong
I can't shake the feeling that somebody is using me, tearing me down, has it out for me

But tonight I wonder if it is my fault
I feel like everyone hates me, I say this reasonably
Because maybe, if I was looking through another person's eyes I'd see myself hurting others
I'd feel someone elses pain

I am far from perfect, but I like to think my only good quality is kindness
But am I really kind?
Do I love fully?..
Whole heartedly?
Am I really who I say I am?

And so I am conflicted and perpetually confused completely with myself

Who am I when I'm not looking?
Sky Oct 2015
My world has stopped.
It's ceased to exist.

Every ounce of me is gone and no one is anywhere to be found
I am looking into a black hole, it's never ending
There is no light at the end of the tunnel

Everything's just simply vanished

But the funny thing is, the world continues to spin, day in-day out
All of me is empty, I swear to god if you knock at the place my heart should be, it'll sound hollow
Where are my feelings? I no longer feel things

Look into my eyes, they are empty
I'm just a ghost
Too much has happened and nothing is the same
Sky Jun 2015
every part of you wants to break free from whatever kind of pain this is
it is not the pain of losing someone to the heavens,
but instead of losing someone who is literally an arms length away
straight in front of you, so close you can smell her
touch her
so close you can speak to her

but she does not hear you
she does not feel you
she does not see you

and still, you will have hope
maybe, just maybe she will reciprocate the love

but,

you know what they say about hope, breeds eternal misery

and you will die
every porcelain bone in your body will shatter, your steady breathing will race, your mind will clutter
and your body will collapse

but you will wake up the next morning still breathing,
the sun will still be shining
the birds will still be chirping
the world will still be moving

it never stopped
time never ceased

but for you,

it did, and you died

and you are just a walking corpse now, going through the motions
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