I smile through it all,

the insults and the hurt,

hoping for the day

that I can stop this charade.

I'm absolutely sick of it.
I'm tired of
reading all of these poems
about sadness and despair.
No more.
All of you
are the strongest
and the most dedicated,
or you wouldn't be here.
I ask of you,
pick yourself up
one more time,
and fight for yourself.
No one else will.

I'm that person who's always smiling.
I'm that person who's full of smiles and giggles.
I'm that person who's always willing to help.
I'm that person who thinks of others before all else.
I'm that person who's always excited.
I'm that person who sugarcoats everything.
I'm that person who always takes the worst shit that life throws out.
I'm that person who no one will ever take a second look at.

I'm also that person who's the loneliest.
I'm also that person who seems that they're hiding something.
I'm that person who has a false tone of happiness.
I'm also that person who's shed the most tears.
I'm that person who's the best liar.
I'm that person who's only called for help.

The most colorful are often the bleakest.

I've been shattered
countless times,
each time cracking in a different way.
Every time I pick myself up,
every little piece of me,
I always pick up a little hope.
Hope that everything will turn out okay,
hope that I'd find someone
or something to save me.
It always comes crashing down.
I've hoped for so long, that I'm starting to lose it.
I'm losing hope
in getting out of this miserable state.
I then realized,
hope was an illusion.
A simple hallucination in my mind.
I've never had it,
and I'll never get it.

I've mastered an art, truly one of the most useful.
I've shaped an image of myself to others, but it's just an image.
I've mastered the art of lying.
I'm a fake.
But no one else can see it.
I hate doing this.
I hate wearing a mask everywhere I go.
I seem carefree on the outside.
People think I'm truly happy.
They don't know how wrong they are.

I'm bleeding out.
I've been shot countless times, with insults and glares.
I've been stabbed with rumors and lies,
I'm hiding everything through a mask that makes me seem carefree.
I act as if nothing's a big deal anymore.
Not one of them knows.
It feels painful to try to get up.
So I just lay here, waiting to die.

Having everyone around in the morning,
Everyone ridicules me without warning,
Love fills my day before it has begun,
People in my life shine brighter than the sun!
My desires have to be put aside for theirs,
Every once in a while, they care!

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