BiStarr Oct 2018
Part 2

I sprint to the large green table and save it for my friends
I laugh and yell like a normal eighth grader would
I cover my sadness and channel the passion to happiness
But it’s fake happiness
And I hope you know that
It’s all fake
I’m fake
You sit with your popular friends at the small blue table
four tables down
No one bothers taking it
They’re too scared
You had a salad

Third period
Sleeping while standing is hard
The history teacher is late again
I look out the window and see the tall glass building ahead
It’s the Arts Department
You are in room C106 playing piano
You left class early today
I don’t know where you went
Heyyy part 2. Part 3 will probably be out later cause i’m super busy this weekend. Thanks for reading. I hope none of my friends find this.

  Oct 2018 BiStarr
sitting underneath the stairs, i realized suddenly:
i could die here.

i could die here,
and would anyone know?
i could die here, under the ***** staircase,
and nothing would change.

a friend of mine came for me eventually;

someone i don't know too well,
but well enough.

and she squeezed my hand and told me,
"you're not alone."

as my breathing grew ragged and my chest constricted and my eyes ached, i belatedly realized that was the most terrifying prospect of all.
only thing worse than feeling alone is knowing that so many others feel alone... hope everyone out there is feeling loved.
BiStarr Oct 2018
Part 1

I walk by you every day
Do you see me?
The bell sounds off and the noise reminds me of when I sit alone after school in a soundproof room
Where I should be practicing piano
I sit. It is not long before it happens again
The constant ringing of silence
Ringing, piercing, bursting, my eardrums

First period
You rub your back against a cold locker
Our eyes meet but of course, I pull away quickly
Why would I continue to look if I know that it will just get me in trouble
And put me in more pain
And dig my hole of misery
deeper than it should go
The science teacher greets me with a smile
I smile back
kind of
There is just enough time to glance back
to see you being shoved by your ‘friends’
into the Geometry classroom
right across from me

Second period
My hopes go up
as this is the only class we have together
but I quickly stomp them down
Thinking these irrational thoughts won’t do anything
And I know that
I try not to stare as you change into the short shorts
which reveal your underwear as you sit
(The short shorts that are acceptable for physical education.
The short shorts that wouldn’t be acceptable if it were to be any other color or fabric, because it would be too short)
I forge a note
Skip class
Return your phone
because you left it so irresponsibly on the football field
Nobody bothered taking it
This is part 1. part 2 will be out later when i have time


— The End —