This was originally a blog post. The poem portion is below, but the poem is part of a story. Read on dear friends... URL to the original blog post and story is BELOW the poem.
Icarus had wings
Made of wax.
He flew towards the sun.
The basic premise.
He got too close.
He stayed too long.
His beautiful wings melted
And he fell down.
Nobody got a chance to ask him
If he regretted the fall.
He lost the chance to spend
The rest of time
Loving the sun. Loving the sky.
Loving his flight.
My wings were made of love.
The basic premise of my story.
My wings took me too high,
Too close to my own heart,
Too far to go back,
And I was too convinced I could keep going.
No distance was too far.
No fear too daunting.
The sun was hotter than I ever imagined.
More beautiful, inside and out, than I thought possible.
The sun burned me and tried to take my wings
Along with my soul.
Maybe it was not the sun's fault,
But the earth pulled me back and away
And my wings were lost
For a long time.
I might have been burned and scarred and broken,
But I survived my fall.
If anyone ever asks me if I regret it,
I would say no. Not one bit.
There may be nothing in my life
That I am further from regretting...
Though I try to push those thoughts away
And be grateful
For what the roller coaster
Of my life has blessed me with, during all of the highs,
And the lessons it has taught me
In all of the lows.
It is just like Frank Solanki said
In one of our conversations;
"Love brings with it
All sorts of joy and pain.
But it is an inseparable part of it.
The joy is a mountain.
Pain is just a molehill.
We focus too much on the hill
And forget all about the mountain.
That is not how it should be."
The only thing that ever did more damage to me than loving my ex,
Was loving the world.
The only thing more disappointing
Than realizing that my ex was a liar and never cared about me,
Was realizing that the world is full of liars
And hatred and violence and pile upon pile of ****.
It still surprises me that any one person
Could have such an effect on me.
Not so much surprising that waking up to many harsh and cruel realities
Could have such an effect on me.
My lesson is that it was all worth it.
It is all worth it.
Every day, knowing I will never be more happy or more sad
Than I am and have been.
Every day, missing someone and wishing for closure.
Begging for answers.
Every day, praying
That the person you love is happy.
Every day, digging deeper and deeper
For a truth that gets uglier with each passing second.
Every day, more horrified
I guess it was all a bit too much too handle, all at once,
And I was close to giving up.
I was close to slamming into the ground,
At full speed.
My heart was so heavy.
The pieces jagged and ******.
At the last moment, when there was no hope left,
Was when I finally felt free.
Free from every desire, and every worry,
And every bit of pain and suffering.
I had nothing to lose.
Nothing to gain.
In that moment, my wings came back,
More magnificent than ever.
Became lighter than a feather.
I look back on that moment as the exact time
I decided to chase all of my dreams.
To stick around and use up every last remaining minute of this life
On something worthwhile.
To love life no matter what,
Because the good parts would not exist without the bad parts.
That is especially true in this case,
Although I meant in general.
Maybe I would never have fallen in love with that man
If we both had not seen so many of the bad parts.
It was the moment that I took back my will to live,
And my will to be courageous and loving and ambitious.
It was the moment I decided that no matter how hard my life or anyone in it
Pushes me down, I will just get back up again.
Maybe that decision was bold;
It seems it has been tested over and over ever since then.
"The meaning of life is to fall down seven times,
And stand up eight times."
Written in 2016
Bethany G. Blicq
ORIGINAL BLOG POST/STORY: