Beth A Storm: Poems

3.7k · Jan 2013

Brown-Eyed "Friend" Part 1 (Until next time)

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Brown-Eyed "Friend" Part 1 (Until next time)

You sit there and take pictures of me,
The winter air chills our breaths
You Laugh. I laugh. I feel a small spark of what I called happiness.
It's absolutely freezing.

Come on, the high today is nine degrease.
But for some reason I don't feel so cold
as the Ice blues my skin and snow infests my bones.
Your infectious laugh carries over to me.

"Uh, Beth, I think I broke the camera!"

I know you didn't, of course, but I still rush over.
I pity the way I can't stupidly giggle.
or be anything resembling a teenage girl.
the strange thing is you don't seem to mind.

You stand too close as I fix the glitch.
You smell like Cinnamon, apples and warmth
too bad I'm like the anti-teen so I just stand there awkwardly
Your brown eyes capture mine and I resume my duty of fixing the camera

You run out of film.
I frown. We walk back.
We don't talk after that.

You do this every month or so, I never expect it
I want to Hit myself afterwards.
Taunt me, tease me, leave me confused
You are another cruel reminder of my living little nightmare.

Until Next time, My brown eyed "Friend"

1.8k · Jan 2013

first impressions

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

first impressions

there is nothing worse than a first impression
all humans have one, weather you like it or not
hell, I have first impressions all the time
thing is, while we may have first impressions, it's stupid to trust them

with the exclusion of cruelty and hubris, I have found that some of the most amazing people have the most apparent flaws
unfortunately that comes with
horrendous first impressions

it is a huge flaw in human design to judge someone before even getting to know them
that's why I usually ignore a first impression, in fact, sometimes I go against my instincts.

if you judge someone before you get to know them based on a first glance, you'll regret it. Trust me.

Based on an event that happened a couple weeks back

1.5k · Jan 2013

Grace

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Grace

I have this desire to save people.
My counselor says that's why all my friendships are ******* me.
I tend to make friends with people who need saving.

You Were No Exception.

Grace, Darling Child, Where did you go?
You got lost in the crowd and put on a show.
I tried to warn you and you listened well
but you are very bendable and the others could tell.

Grace, My Darling, Why would you lie?
I Would give you anything including my life.
You really cared for me, you told me so
but it was not enough because you just couldn't say no.

Grace, My Darling, Why are you gone?
You have to stop abusing your mom.
I know she messed up but we all do.
Oh Please don't let them get to you.

Grace, my darling, Why did you let them get get to you?
Was it Something I said? What Can I do?
I'm the only one who still has hope in you!
Grace?

Grace, you are gone. He took you as well.
The bad man who treats your Mommy like hell.
I guess your Daddy just likes his control.
And Since you can't say no he has too much hold.

Grace, I'm sorry, but this is goodbye.
I'm sick of all your little lies.
Your Daddy will say awful things about me
And while they are false, you are just too naive.

Grace, I see the hate in your eyes.
I knew this would happen since you live with a demon in disguise.
I guess I just have to let you go
and remember the great girl you could've been who I'd love to know.

Grace, sweet Grace, you stand so far away.
There is a demon standing in your place.
You are now the type of thing I despise.
I hold a funeral in my mind for the girl who could have been kind.

Grace, my darling, was I not enough?
I feel it's my fault. Did I not show you love?
Your ghost will haunt me and put me to shame
because you were the girl I could not save.

1.2k · Jan 2013

My Biggest Pet Peeve in Writing

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

My Biggest Pet Peeve in Writing

Light vs. Dark
The most cliché idea ever.
Light is good.
Dark is bad.
People who are afraid of questioning love it.
It's all Black and white.

I'm sorry, but it just can't be true.
There wouldn't be dark without light and light without dark
So if light exists because of dark and dark exists because of light, they create each other, depend on each other.
So how can light be completely good and dark be completely bad?

Another point.
Humans are often afraid. We like knowledge and instead of being in awe of it, we fear the things we don't know, can't see, hear, taste, feel, or touch.
We can see in the light, we can see what is in front of us.
That's why we think light is good, because we are not afraid.

Darkness, on the other hand,
Is scary for humans who depend on what's in front of them
but that doesn't mean it's bad.
We think up monsters and demons but in reality
there could be an angel watching over you in the dark.

It's so common for so many of us
If there is something we can't see, we go simply crazy.

yeah, I don't really know where my mind goes either.... It's okay.

1.1k · Jan 2013

Anomaly

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Anomaly

Since long before I remember, Just through Story

I’ve always been an anomaly.

The Bird that Prefers Walking

The Dyeing tree in the Spring

A Mime Who loves talking

A choir-girl who won’t sing

My thoughts do not come from a common place

But from a world full of complications and haste

I find no humor in the common air

I find no sadness in these normal waters

I find no hurt in the common tears

When people think cooler, I think hotter.

Since I am Not Justified

Others are simply Terrified

Anomalies ruin common thought

So I am shunned to the corner to sit there to rot.

While hurt and confusion bring me such tears,

I’ve learned to ignore the most potent jeers.

It scares me sometimes, why’m i like this?

Why I can’t understand their desires, hopes, even their bracelets on their wrists.

I’ve never drank from the common fountain

and if I were to try, my body would treat it like poison.

So I’ll walk this path alone until I find

Another anomaly with an open mind

Maybe I won’t be the glue without hold.

Maybe I’ll be the rock that turns to gold.

I Wrote this last month, but I just wanted to add it to the sight.

1.0k · Jan 2013

On Intruding On A Sacred Land

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

On Intruding On A Sacred Land

My Mom Didn't understand why I was so upset in the ski lodge today.
If I told her the truth, she'd understand, but something made me hold my tongue.

If I look at my town, Skiing is a religion.
Everybody follows it.
The mountain is their place of worship.
I was in their temple in improper atire

My quiet footsteps with converse were overpowered by the sound of the thundering of numerous
Ski Boots
The quiet swish of my jeans was overpowered by the swishing of
Snow Pants

It wasn't just that.
The memories of what used to be also took a hold of me.
And all the pressure and all the pain seemed to come rushing back again.

All I wanted to do was crawl away and go back to the planet where I am
Welcome
Unfortunately, that's impossible.

When I go outside, my fingers freeze to hell,
You see, I forgot gloves as well.

962 · Jan 2013

I Know

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

I Know

Hello! Kind Sir! I know your game!
I don't care how much you smile and wave!

You are a bad bad man so don't look at me.
Because "Kind Sir", I regard you with fierce animosity.

You are a bad bad Dad.
You me thankful for the one I have.

So Please let me list a few of the things I know if I may your highnass

You left your wife in the cold to rot
and said treacherous things when you fought

You left your youngest child confused and with no control
I saw her today, she was looking for you, alone in the cold.

You left your son with tears in his eyes
as you tackled him to the ground, he started to cry.

You left your eldest child as a lost soul
Completely unaware of your sick need for control

You tried to make my mother hated and Canned
Because she's your ex wife's best friend who helped her stand.

Me, well you made your daughter want me killed
You told her lies because I taught her free will

You are a bad bad coward, you stupid ***
You act like you have oh so much class

But I see right through your game and
I can assure you it's just the beginning.

I will not stoop so low because we are not the same.
But rest assured, I can put you in your place.
I can't wait to see that smirk fall from your face
because nobody messes with my family or my Grace.

Now I know there's a fine line between justice and revenge,
But I found that line and it's where your cruelty ends.

- AB

880 · Jan 2013

What Most Don't Know

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

What Most Don't Know

You Are Not a Number
Not Nearly That Simple
You are not defined by the weighted or unweighted
Or the 2400

You are Not a Shape
You are not fat
You are not skinny
It's only the eyes that can be so petty

You are not a Letter
You aren't the A or the F
You aren't the reports hanging over your head.
Or the mark on your forehead.

You are not a label
You are not simply gay, or simply straight
you aren't smart or stupid
you are so much more than just the words.

You are not what they say
When they think you aren't listening
You aren't what they think
You are not to be put in a box.

You are not theirs
You aren't the clothes or the attitude
If You are afraid of what you are
you may allow yourself to become theirs.

You Don't Have To.
Your life is your choice,
the people not so much,
But it's better to be who you are, than the person people aren't afraid of.

You are who you chose
You are who you aren't
You are those secret desires you keep in the dark.
You are the choices you make
You are how you handle life
You are how you handle pressure
You are the activities you do
You are the way you treat others.
Most of all, you are you
You are the only one inside your head
While lonely at times
It's also beautiful.
You are the only one that sees exactly what you see.
You are the only one that thinks how you think.
You are who you hate
You are who love,
You are how you handle the haters
You are one of a kind.
Don't become anything else.

780 · Jan 2013

Leave.

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Leave.

Please leave me alone
Just let me be
Your desires are a mystery
Just leave.

I don't know
What you want from me anymore
You are a manic depressive cyclone.
Stop swinging.

I can't see
Why you flaunt yourself in front of me.
For nothing I want with you can happen in this reality.
Stop taunting.

If someone told you of my feelings, they are true.
But you pass me by and my heart fills with glue.
I'm not to be but on a string, and am not here to amuse you.
Stop hurting.

Sometimes you sound like you want to hear what I say.
Or brush your hands against mine and get close enough to stay.
Sometimes you even look me in the deep in the eyes and swoop me away.
Stop playing.

Just leave.

596 · Jan 2013

Petty Little Things

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Petty Little Things

You are drowning me with your tears
Please my girls don't be afraid
nobody is dead or maimed
nobody should be like this today.

You have to worry about the Petty little things.

The stupid little things.
The useless little things

You have to worry about the petty little things

Do you really?
Does a boy, a grade, really to determine your fate?

Please can't you see these are petty little things?

I try to help, you, save you,
but it's useless if this is what is on your mind.

Why does everyone seem to worry about the petty little things?

We have roofs over our heads and three meals a day.
We have song, and dance, and friendship.
With that, we can beat the pressures from the outside.

So please help me understand why everything is so petty?

I try so hard to help.
I do
I do
I do
But I just don't understand.

Sometimes I worry I can't fathom what goes on in the teenage mind, even though I am one myself.
I can't relate
I try I try I try
And they just laugh and laugh
An awkward little alien sits with them
But I just can't relate to petty little things

So I'm Sorry.

Pretty Little things,
Don't be scared of the Petty little things,
If you are emotionally evoked by such trivial aspects of life
I can't relate.
I probably seem dull
For I am a person of far much less laughter and tears than I am of an intriguing sense of reality
Just please for me, try to remember that I'm trying my best,
Your lives aren't over
Just give it a rest.

Please, Don't let me sink in your emotions.

(another poem written a while ago)

545 · Jan 2013

Waking sleep.

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Waking sleep.

A dreary little nightmare
On the outside is a dream
But the only time there is peace
Is when I'm fast asleep.

Now that piece is shattered
Because this dreary little nightmare keeps waking me.
My roses, my sunlight, my flowers, my trees, withered away and died with me.
No mater how much they are watered with amphetamines, resurrection is not enough.

My nightmare has very small daydreams that die as quickly as they come to spring.
My gardens are trampled on by idiotic teens.
And no matter how much I try not to feel lonely.
I'm in a dead garden, and there's only just me.

But the raincloud ahead could bring joy to my fettered limbs.
But it's over eight seasons of dryness before.
By then I may be too dried up to grow.
This is my nightmare, this is my time, this is my trial, but I don't know for what crime.

So maybe in the darkest dawn when I see a rose bud grow
Ill pick it, but not hit its thorns
Paint my spirit with the joys of a new season.
But my nightmare has only just begun.

I have a long way to go.

451 · Jan 2013

To Simply Notice

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

To Simply Notice

"To simply notice"

To simply notice my absence
To simply notice the empty seat
That vacated bench in the hallway
The unheard voice missing

To simply notice my presence
So early in the day
I thought nobody would notice that I had gone away
But you did and you stopped just to say

Oh, and of course it had to be you.
You with the eyes of the ocean blue.
I always try to forget you
Because you are simply too good to be true.

But sometimes you make old winters new.
And I just can't stop drowning in your blue.
For years I've been singing the same old tune.
And I'm so young yet my whole life is colored with your hue.

Yet, I grow in a place where new winters are old
And for people like me love stories aren't told.
I don't have the mind, body, or the face.
And only around you do like I feel like a disgrace.

So god help me! Shut these blinds!
I never thought something so excruciating can be so kind.
I guess it just always gives me a friendly remind.
That I will never be worth your time.

But in a hell like this where kindness is rare,
You can always manage to make me aware
That good people like you are out there.

But ******! You ******! Don't you see?
I can't lose sight of what's in front of me!
I can't get my hopes up for things that can't be!
All that brings is misery!

But you come along and you act so sweet.
You are a Naïve demon and it makes me weep.

To simply notice when I'm not around.
When the skeletons on the wall make me frown.
Your welcome is enough to spin me around.
Then make me hate myself and come back down.

- A

I sign A at the bottom of my poems because that is what my real name starts with.

397 · Jan 2013

Block

Beth A Storm Jan 2013

Block

Being empty is a strange feeling
Not even prescriptions help.
Nothing does.
I mourn the Death of my passion.

The fire in my head that gave me my edge
Has fled.

— The End —