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berk Feb 2021
he's slowly turning into static, the man i never knew.

the type of love that's virtual. not real.

how did i fall so hard for someone who i've never seen.

i lay in bed at night caressing a pillow to a now foggy image
of the man of my dreams.

he'd whisper in my ear, "i love you, you're safe here" as his delicate arms would hold me in the cold of a new york winter.

i don't know how to get over this.

i don't know if i can, how do i get over an image of a man.

i wish i could pour liquid nitrogen over my brain, and let it burn away what's left.

i carry this burden, of being heartbroken over this man i've never met, yet love with too much beautiful passion to let go.

how do you let go of something you never had.

i think i'm insane....
...for loving the man i will never know
  Oct 2020 berk
دema flutter
settling for less is the war
everyone's trying to flee from,

but in fact,
settling for less is
an extra shot of espresso
in the coffee that we
drink each morning
in an attempt
to avoid being alone
for the rest of the day.
berk Oct 2020
it was one of those hot summer nights,
those nights where you can feel the heat
in every cell of your body, every bone dripping
with sweat. you thrash around on your mattress, desperate… begging… pleading for an ounce of a chill.

it was one of those nights where the heat dragged
you to your knees and said,
“i’m here now, what are you gonna do about it.”
even the animals could feel it. the cicadas stopped
their song and dance, the cattle lapped up
whatever water they could find,
dogs and cats not much farther behind.

you sit under the stars, feet dangling in
a kiddie pool and reclined in an old foldable
chair your not quite sure where you bought it
from, but you've had it for years and your too
attached to throw it away.

you lean back and stare up at the stars and
the constellations above, thinking about all that's come
before and what's left.

you've come to an understanding with
the universe that you're here for a limited time only,
and knowing the best way to handle it, the good...
the bad... and the ugly... is to remember a simple
but timeless message.

because at the end of the line, all that matter's
is what you want to matter.
remember to stay groovy yall
berk May 2020
at my funeral, ill be placed in the freshly dug ground,
six feet of earth above me.

my family will shed a singular tear behind sunglasses,
they aren't the type to make a scene, even over me.

they'll leave me there again, for the final time.

that night i'll arise, my cold corpse's eyes peeling open.

ill kick open the dark oak casket, and dig my way through
the freshly laid dirt.

i'll stand at the foot of my grave, staring at my tombstone,
"here lies miles, gone too soon"

and then i'll dance.
i'll give all my energy into one final dance on my grave,
in the yellow moonlight.

i'll dance upon my grave as one last ******* to me.
for letting everything get that bad.

and as the morning light finally comes,
an orange sun, peering from the dirt, i'll crawl me way back.

i'll lay back down in my casket,
close it shut, cross my arms, and shut my eyes one last time.
berk May 2020
the trees in my neighborhood are blossoming.

are oak tree is bursting with red buds, the leaves
poking out of them, the yellow looks more of a mustard
in this grey spring day.

the neighbors cherry tree was the first to come,
it pink petals sprouting out of the short trees bare

even in the fog of today, its pink is vibrant,
sticking out like a sore thumb.
i love spring
berk May 2020
your sweatshirt doesn't smell like you anymore.
it smells like pain, like sadness, like loss.

i miss that comfort.
  Apr 2020 berk
my old name is dead
but i'm afraid to bury it
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