how many times have you said i love you
while they weren’t listening?
how long have you stared at them
wishing you were close, just enough to cling?

i remember fearing the night
along with the tears that came with it.
slowly, i learned how to cope
with guilt and agony tagging along

i watch as the daylight shines,
igniting the light and faith in me.

i listen as the rain hits the roof,
realizing that i am losing myself in the calmness.

i lose hope as the candle that was giving me light,
now lost its spark, leaving me in the dark.

i search as i see you slowly fade away,
my heart longing to be in your arms.

i cling as our memories replay by itself,
remembering our laughter and smiles are gone.

i smile as i’ve always wanted a happy ending,
but now, i’ll settle for only an ending.

he reminds me of the color yellow,
he who brings warmth and happiness  to every tomorrow

if you are going to fall in love with me,
you must know that i cry. a lot.
i cry during rainy days, sunny days, or on a monday morning.
i cry everytime i watch a happy movie and everytime i cut onions,
but do know that i cry harder every time i talk about the things that have hurt me, even if they don’t hurt anymore.

i need constant reassurance.
for i am afraid of being left behind, of being unloved.
i will probably tell you all the things i hate about myself
while you disagree with each one of them
but i still won’t believe every single word you’ll say.

i got used to shutting down the people who care about me.
it will be so hard for me to open up,
but all i’m asking you is to stay patient, and give me time to adjust.
you might think i’m rejecting your company,
but don’t blame yourself, i appreciate you.

so listen, if you are going to fall in love with me
understand that i’ve been through the worst
but still, i’ll love every inch of your skin unconditionally

i looked around
and wondered maybe
he was right that’s why he left.

countless stares and empty chairs.
a newfound solace in this empty space.