sitting here alone
I know I do not want to be
living on my own
with no one here but me
you don't realize what talking
to another living being does
to keep you from walking
over the edge of the world that never was
it's hard to say just what it'd mean
to simply hear someones voice
to wake me out of this starkly quite dream
to fill this room with noise

*******
and your ***** ******* ways
**** your mind games
and your pulling the **** away
**** your feelings
and your robot ******* heart
**** your brain
you zombie, you think you're so smart
**** your relationships
and **** time too
**** everything you touch
that is all you wanna do
**** your lovely ******* life
and **** your hate-filled remarks
******* for ******* me
right from the ******* start

I was wrong
I see now
I can't change people
but they change me
one turned me against the world
another against myself
one made me see my light
others just brought me down
I suppose it's all just lessons learned
but why must they be so tough
if I could just get past the redundancy
how trying is just never enough
I thought I could play along
and get by unscathed
that if we spent enough time together
eventually you'd be on my page
or at least I would walk away
unattached, more confident, more wise
I thought I could handle your seeing other girls
and I'd be fine with seeing other guys
I was wrong

the choice has been made for me
there's no hope for you and i
yet i still hang on tightly
as my dreams all pass me by
i used to think i'd stay around
so eventually you would see
though that hope could never hold it's ground
i never meant as much to you, as you did to me
alas the day finally came
where you chose someone else instead
we've reached the end of this superfluous game
i hope you're happy 'cause you've made your bed

I miss that piece of me
  that disappeared when you left
I miss those smiles that warmed me
  and made me feel my best
I miss how I used to be
  back when things were right
I miss those days I spent with you
  and looking forward to our nights
I miss the way I loved you
  but love me you did not
I miss not missing you
  now that hollow memories are all I've got

I do not know
if these feelings will go
or just interrupt the flow
of my desire to show
how I loved you, though
that is no longer so

I think I hate you

she had a hard time admitting
to herself that she couldn't let you in
she always was an open book,
there were never any great walls, or
giant doors, locked with chains
she thought
she often thinks of you now
like a Trojan horse, slyly
slipping past her guards,
only to destroy her from within
once, albeit too late, she discovers
you in fact are the enemy
penetrating her fortress
she once thought, having you
close by, that you were her ally
there could be nothing better
but smoke and mirrors was all you were
a magician, a maker of potions
when she'd playfully glance your way
through the top of her hazy drunken eyes
telling you without words what she was really saying
intoxicated uninhibited blackouts
she has trouble hanging on to memories
without clouds and drink spills disrupting their integrity
that she only sees your smile
and only hears your whispers in her ear
and only feels your gentle, soft caress
which cause that tumor of your memory
in her brain to shrink, and lead her to think
that just one more kiss, just one more night
couldn't hurt, could it?
just one more chance, and she could explain it all away
one more full moon to light the night, to see her
but you never cared about the walls, or the locks
you were content on the outside, and having her securely
trapped in her own locked, doorless room
and she knew all along you never wanted in
you are the cigarette to her lung cancer
the addiction that will **** her
that she cannot seem to give up