Sitting on a stool, alone and drunk,
I make eye contact with Red Eyes.
I look down, staring at my drink,
I feel her gaze growing stronger.
When its at its strongest,
I look up into those Red Eyes.
"Tell me,"
She said,
"Why do you have such dull eyes?"
I contemplated for a moment,
Finally, I decided,
"Why do you have such vibrant eyes?"
I asked.
She nodded to herself, turned around,
And stalked away, off to find another man.
I took a sip of my drink,
Thinking about her question.
Thats the last time I ever saw Red Eyes.

Kate said that she liked bricks.
I was taught that bricks are bad.
And they are bad.
Kate likes to tell me about bricks.
I don't like to listen,
But I must listen or else Kate will lay bricks down.
Kate scares me.
I don't want to talk to her,
But I must.
I don't want to become like Kate,
And I don't want others to become like Kate.
Bricks are bad.
Stay away from Bricks and Brick Layers.

I don't understand.
Why am I so unhappy?
Is this depression?
Some kind of mental illness?
Or is this how everyone feels?
I don't want to feel like this,
Constantly worrying about how others will think of me,
I can't even do simple tasks.
I can't share my answers in math class,
I can't write anything on the board in Spanish class,
I can't talk to anyone in world history class,
I can't do anything right.
If anyone says something slightly sarcastic or mean,
I want to die.
I feel like a horrible person because of them.
I can't handle talking to anyone except for Annelise anymore.

Daddy stumbled.
Daddy fell.
Daddy fell off a cliff.
I watched him fall,
Couldn't do anything about it.
Mummy screamed.
Her scream scares me.
Mummy only screams when its important.
I heard Daddy fall.
The leaves broke and so did the branches.
Crash,
said the leaves.
Bonk,
went Daddy's head.
He fell far.
And down Daddy crashed.
Right against the ground.
Now I'm crying.
I was crying when Mummy screamed.
I only just noticed that I was crying.
Maybe bawling.
Is Daddy dead?
I must stop Mummy from jumping down with him.
Please Daddy,
Don't be dead.

I sit sadly, a row away.
I glance at him, every once in a while,
Hoping for something to happen.
Sometimes he smiles at me,
Says something funny.
I just long to have a conversation,
And maybe, just be friends.
She told me that he's a *******.
I kind of believe her.
I can't let myself be damaged by him,
I'm already hurt enough.
I wish I was cool.

Even if god(s) existed,
Why would you support them?
Why would you be devoted to them?
If the god in the bible exists,
Isn't he a ******?
In Noah's ark,  
He flooded the Earth to get rid of the sin,
But that also means he killed innocent babies, children, and animals?

If you were a person made of clay,
You would probably be devoted to your sculptor.
But what if you saw your sculptor killing and torturing the innocent?
Would you still be devoted?
If you answered yes, consider this;
Imagine the screams, crying, begging of the innocent about to be killed.
If you still answer yes to the question,
You need to be mentally checked out.
Think about religion before you become devoted.

Today I received amazing news
I called my mom
I called my boyfriend
I jumped up and down with my friends.
Yet I didn't call you.
What makes your own girlfriend hesitate to call you?
Your selfishness, ego, lack of understanding
Are all curses to this relationship.
I knew you would never be happy for me
You didn't even congratulate me when you saw my post.
We used to be so emotional and close
But I can't even imagine telling you **** about my feelings now.
I will never trust you with my true feelings
Ever again.