I've been in many relationships, and there's only one which hasn't left any scars.
Sometimes things can trigger certain memories or feelings.
If that happens, do not worry, it is not you.
I'm still trying to work through some issues.
It may take time for me to be comfortable around you.
Many of my relationships have caused me to mask my true self and become someone else.
I want you to know that the more get to know me, the more you may not like what you see.
I'm still recovering from my past and so bad habits are still present.
I'm still changing and still learning.
If I ever do something that you don't like, please tell me.
Don't hide things from me, especially if it's something that I do that makes you uncomfortable.

My darling,

I apologize if I am not the same hopeless romantic poet I once was.
I am sorry to say that I have wasted my words on poems that were written for temporary romances.
I am sorry that I can no longer write poems that sweep you off your feet.

If I would have known that this was the last letter to you
I would have written it differently.
I would ask you why.
What did I do that made you suddenly not want me anymore?
Why did we have to make things so tough between us.
If I had changed would you have stayed?
If I were able to mould into the version of me that you had in your head, would it have made things better?

Life moves on what can I say?
I've spent these last few months wishing that time would stop.
Hoping that it will let me readjust my grip,
Praying that it doesn't take me away.

It's so peaceful and quiet at night,
It's as if the world just kind of fades away,
I'm laying on the pavement in the middle of the road,
No cars are around,
I can hear the wind flowing through,
The trees rustle in response,
And the sound of the river flowing.
It's peaceful and for once it seems as if all the worries and  responsibilities are lifted off of my shoulders.
I look up at the sky, but no stars can be seen tonight,
The clouds are pink from reflecting the city lights,
I watch as they slowly roll by.
I am not necessarily happy, nor sad, but rather alive.
All I know is that I never want this feeling to end,
I don't want to feel that weight on me,
Not when I finally know what it feels like to breathe.

I've tried to play along,
I've tried to drown myself in work and things that keep me busy,
But the truth is I'm dying inside,
I mask my emotions with a smile and a laugh,
But I just want to cry and breakdown,

Why am I still going?
Why am I still here?
What's the point?