I have a different kind of trust issue.
I love and accept everyone.
I welcome everyone in with open arms.
I go out of my way to make people feel both happy and comfortable,
But I don't trust anyone to be there for me when I need them the most
I don't even reach out, because there's just no point

It would be too simple and too wrong to say I love someone.
You see it's so much more complicated than that.
After you weave through the layers and layers of walls and barricades that I have put,
You'll see that when I love someone, it isn't just that I love them,
It's that I love how they speak, the way they can manipulate words with their tongue.
That the words that they speak capture the attention of everyone in the room.
It's that I love how their smile seems to sparkle and the way their lip seems to tug more upwards on one side than the other.
That the world seems a bit happier when they smile.
You see when I love, it's more like that feeling when you find a really good book that never seems to end and that you don't want to end.
A book that you can never really put down for that long without feeling lost and empty.
I cannot tell you exactly how or why I love them and I cannot tell you why I love them the way I do.
I just do.

I think I’m afraid of letting go...

You asked me why I never talk to you about me. At that time I didn't say anything, I just shook my head. What I wanted to say was "I'm afraid that if I do I will lose you."

I want you to tell me about your dreams while we are cuddled up in blankets on our bed.

I want to wake up and say good morning to you with a kiss on the forehead.

I want a "have a good day" as we rush off to work late, because we wanted one more kiss before we departed for the day.

I want to hear all about your crazy or boring day at work over dinner.

I want that goodnight kiss and the sleep well.

I want the waking up in the middle of the night because you stole all the covers.

I want all that and more,

But I don't want it with just anyone,

I want it with you.

Four words hold such destruction and chaos in them.

Let them rage on things they cannot change.
We will continue to love.
Ignoring their bouts of hate.