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Bailey Martin Nov 2018
This suffering has become too much for my mind and my body to handle.

I am angry with You because You broke me before I had a chance to grow. You were supposed to be the one person in the world who made me feel
safe,
loved, and
cared for. You
manipulated me. You
used me. You
abused me. You
ruined me before I ever met those who crippled me. The worst part is that I will always love You more than anyone else in this world...and when You die I will feel forever empty.

I hate YOU because YOU knew that I was
younger and more
vulnerable and used that to
maim me. I can never enjoy my life again because of YOU. Every day of my life is
violated and
defiled by YOU in the same way YOU
tortured me in those three months. The worst part is that it has been five years and YOU are still happily living and breathing somewhere out there. I want YOU to die.

I am terrified of you because you hold all of the power and you do not and will not care about my life. You don't care if I die. You are
ruthless and
disgusting like Satan himself. You are
vile and
cruel and
apathetic. The worst part is that I see you every day and I can never hide.

i love you, but you scare me. i shake when i think about giving all of myself to you. i am alone forever in my existential thoughts that you can never enter. your touch feels wonderful...so warm and comforting. if i let myself enjoy you...you precious soul...you'll just be ripped away from me like
every
other
almost
happy
thing. the worst part is that the only way to protect me is to not let myself believe you love me. please love me.

I am desperate. Clutching on for dear life to anyone and hugging until I turn blue. I am
trembling and
peeing and
crying. I am
screaming and
bleeding and
struggling. The worst part is that nobody knows that I am a child who just wants a hand to hold.

Life is meaningless and horrible. I feel grimy and disgusting, twisting in and out of all of their scraping hands as I walk miserably
on and
on and
on.

I'm dying. I mean it--I am dying.

Someone help me.
Someone touch me.
Someone care about me.

I'm dying.
all I want is to be happy and safe
Bailey Martin Mar 2018
I'm laying here looking over at you while you sleep, and I'm thinking about how absolutely precious you are, and about just how much you mean to me. How are you so sweet and lovely? So soft and caring, so wonderful to be around? Never do I find myself wanting to be away from you. You're raw honey at its finest. So pure and thick on my mind. I love you.
Bailey Martin Mar 2018
February has come and gone,
It took my ritual with it.
Many deaths took place here and
A new life might begin.

If fate fills me with the miracle of life,
I will be honored to host.
Because when I count my blessings...
You count the most.
Bailey Martin Feb 2018
He'll never know the agony he caused me

He'll never know he ruined my life

He won't ever care that I want to erase me

He told me he didn't care at the time.


They're all saying that my mind doesn't count

Because my issue isn't common enough

They're all talking about it as if I

Didn't die so I'm supposed to be tough.


I missed class again today

To stop myself from coming undone

This one is dedicated to the boy who thought

That an ****** was worth ruining someone.
No amount of poetry will ever make me feel better. I am utterly helpless.
Bailey Martin Dec 2017
your secrets are stuck between my ears,
your worries safely nested on my shoulders

your future tears dry on my shirt, your open heart covered by my body

your protection and happiness is my daily wish.
Bailey Martin Dec 2017
Violated constantly in the place I call home
.
Taking him home
.
Brick entryway
.
Not his kind of pretty, not her kind of handsome
.
What if I'm okay and I just don't know it
.
Dirt on my face
.
The question isn't "what will happen to me if I do?" It's "what will happen to them if I don't?"
.
Dreams of Hawaii
.
It critmiss
.
Pretty short because I'm living and loving well
Bailey Martin Nov 2017
It's so nice to put my song book on the shelf again
.
Novelty
.
C+
.
Appointments
.
Sad and sleepy, Billie Holiday plays
.
What matters is that I love myself
.
And all of the children and all of the townspeople and all of the angels and all of me told him happy birthday
.
Don't play house
.
I feel like a failure
.
"One of the most dangerous things you will ever do in your life is actually listen"
.
I love the smell of white noise in the afternoon
.
Three sets of keys all piled into one
.
I don't want to be a maybe, I want to be a dream
.
Lovers?
.
Ke$ha concert
.
I trapped him in my hips
.
I never knew how bad I wanted to slow dance to Patsy Cline until it happened with him
.
I fold up the second time and put it in my pocket
.
Happiness
.
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