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brandy Jun 11
we used to share our poetry
confide in each other
with our deepest pieces of art
but now i have no one
to share with
the works i've made
about the wretched way we've split
and somehow
i've made it sound beautiful
brandy Jun 11
as i read Sappho at 3AM
i miss you in my arms again
since our hearts have grown cold
my world's been askew
and i do not wish to hold
someone who's "better" than you
i found more of her work
i just wish we could read them
to each other
the way we used to
brandy Jun 11
i'd pour my soul into the one i love
if they'd let me
i'd drain myself dry if it were
to water their garden
with hope that we could
watch it blossom together
and i wouldn't ask for sunshine in return
but mine probably would wilt without it
if i were to be honest
because why would i
water my stupid dandelions
when i could tend
to their breath taking tulips?
maybe one day
i'll realize the importance
that my little sunflower garden holds
but until i then i'll just have to work
for my own garden
and maybe for the possibility
of us sharing
a small patch of roses
but before i can take good care of roses
i just need to remember
that nothing can grow
while drowning in water
or in complete darkness
all that's needed
is balance, patience, and love
brandy Jun 11
i have so many individual thoughts
in my mind
to the point where
i don't need to zoom out
for it to look like
a black ink spill of nothingness
brandy Jun 10
TW SUICIDE
why would i sleep through
the only thing
that seems to understand
and console me?
only to wake up
into a world
that's powered by our hatred
as we put people
against each other
through competition
for sport?
i don't feel comfortable
to compare and compete
not in the godly gift of sunlight,
but below the man made magnifying glass
that we put just under our gods
to place heat and pressure onto our people
in hopes they break and burn
or turn into diamonds
sometimes it seems like man attempts
to climb to a throne above a deity's realm
as we move our magnification
as we see fit
over our own population of people
just to watch as those cursed by man
burn deep into their dermis
all the way down to their core
in such pain they can only see it fit
to let themselves turn to ash
and return to the earth
to be consoled by their gods
or just by their own soul
in eternal solidarity
i choose to be cooled
by the stars of the night sky
and in the moon to show me a love
that i could never find
in another human being
but with each night
i let myself be consoled
the heat of days past
builds on the last
and daylight becomes
hotter and harder to handle
does hell exist in an afterlife or were we already banished here?
brandy Jun 10
i used to draw tarot for you
and i still do
sometimes
but now when i do
i feel like i'm spying
into the walls of your mind
without your awareness
having to guess on my own
which walls hold back what
i can't tell what you put there to protect you
vs what you're trying to cage and run from
you said i could still do it
even if you weren't there
to watch the cards fly
as they knock down
each and every last one of those walls
as if it were a game of dominos
i am not scared of what i may discover
i am scared of breaking something fragile that you have hidden from our sight
for your own safety
and that's why i still feel guilty
and because i know
that people knowing how you feel
is one of your greatest fears
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