i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember when we talked about going to seattle?
you said you liked the rain
and the fact that no one there would know you,
i just wanted to be wherever you were.
i was never afraid of the dark
when you talked about yours.
i still don't have words for what i felt
when you told me the only other number
you had saved in your phone apart from your mother's was mine.
i keep telling myself you're not allowed
to just exit and re-enter my life as you please,
but i leave the door unlocked,
so what does that make me?
the last "i love you" from the last time we spoke,
is still stuck to the roof of my mouth.
other lovers have tried to pry it out of me,
but the memory of you is like lockjaw.
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember the lizard you caught last summer?
you let me name him forrest.
if life is a box of chocolates,
there are pieces missing,
and whatever is left has gone stale.
i can't smoke cigarettes in my backyard anymore
without wondering where you are
or if you're smoking too.
i hope you're not drinking,
i know you hate what it does to you.
your secrets are still tucked between my ribs,
i will hold them safe and repeat them back to you
if you ever lose your way home.
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember when you told me
about the person you were afraid of becoming,
i said i wasn't scared,
and i told you i was proud of you?
i'm still proud of you.
i hope you're in school or at least keeping busy.
i hope you still make yourself laugh.
i miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
do you remember what movie we were watching
the night you got arrested?
i still can't finish it.
i am holding the place.
can we pick up where we left off?
can we stand up and wipe the dust off?
i never got to tell you why i only write in pen,
or why i can't sleep with socks on,
or about the day i caught god with his hands in a public fountain
fishing for change.
i'm not mad at you for disappearing, but i'm lonely.
the only reason i haven't called
is because i'm afraid of being sent straight to voicemail,
but if i ever find myself in indiana again,
you'll be the first to know.

- m.f.

You’re going to meet a guy and he’s going to sweep you off your feet. He’s going to remind you why you wanted love in the first place.
2. You will find that one day he will shred your heart into pieces leaving you to pick up every little piece, cutting your self on the glass, because you, you are fragile.
3. Your parents are always going to upset you and most of the time you will wish that you were grown up already so you can go live on your own and “be happy” but you don’t understand that you can’t be happy if all you lived through was wishing and hoping on the future.
You never live in the present and Its so **** special.
4. No matter how many times you believe you will never find love again, you will. even if that means a speeded heart rate while your listening to your favourite song being the closest thing to love and thats okay.
5. Teenage hood will be rough, you will find yourself waking up in the morning wondering why you ever did, you will find yourself wondering the meaning, the value of everything, I guarantee that telling yourself that you’re going to get through another day, is worth it.
You will find yourself waking up one morning next to the person you love most in this world, and he will kiss your forehead and remind you on why you should stay, why you did.
6. If you’re tired of the wait, then find peace in the pleasures in life, write a poem, read a book, paint a picture.
Go hang out with friends, jump into a lake, laugh at your own jokes.
Life is beautiful, Stop worrying about the ending.
7.Because one day you are going to look back on your life and wonder why you ever worried about dying, it was a lot longer then you expected, it was worth the ride.
8. Write your dreams down, if thats the only thing that is worth remembering about the day then hold on to that, Because Life isn’t always an adventure when you avoid the marvel.
9. Find growth in your pain, Create yourself, Create others through your influence. You mean something.
Your influence is infinite, embrace it.

Before you fall in love with me know that i am the broken little pieces of every glass that you have ever broken.
i can not be put back together because some of my pieces are still no where to be found. Know that there will be days that i will be cold and distant but please don't think that it's your fault.
it's just me getting too wrapped up in my own self doubt.
if you can accept all of these things then i will love you more then anyone in this galaxy ever could.
i will kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts.
if you could love my broken pieces, then i will love you.

i still hold my breath when i hear you late at night

you're locked behind closed doors and you think no one can hear you, but i hear you
howling like a wolf in search for something in the night,
roaring with anger like a lion

i'd like to say that I'm not afraid of you anymore but I can't help but feel like a small child in the dark when you curse

maybe this is why I try so hard to please people like you
I'll swing a right hook at a woman before I'll do so much as raise my voice at a man and what the **** does that say about me?

take a shot if you were conditioned to keep men tame
pop a pill if you were raised to stay silent when your daddy yells
light one up if the lines have blurred between love and fear

i haven't been sober in years