the easiest and hardest thing
about falling in love
is being a writer

dolorimetry
n. The measurement of pain sensations

How do you measure pain?
a gasp
a step or two
away
from someone whose
world used to
revolve around you
a tear
a sigh
a stretch of arms
that used to wrap
a soul so tender and warm.

How do you measure pain?
a stomp
a slap
a finger pointed like
a gun or a dagger
on your chest—
accusing
complaining
tired, frustrated
infuriated.
How do you measure pain?
the distance
from A to Z
a tick of clock
a grain of sand
blown by the wind
a drop of blood
from a blade-stricken wrist.

How do you measure pain?
a smile
a laugh
a response telling
them you’re fine
but hell, you’re not.

when i look at you
i want to feel nothing
but i feel everything
and my chest hurts.

Paano kung sabihin ko sa’yong patapos na,
Na ang dulo’y abot na ng aking mga mata?
Ngunit sa bawat hakbang kong papalayo sa’yo,
Tila ba ang loob ko’y napupuno ng bato.

Paano kung sabihin ko sa’yong ayoko na,
Na hindi ko na kaya kung patatagalin pa?
Sapagkat ga’no man kalalim akong nahulog,
Natatapos din ang himig ng awit at tugtog.

Paano kung sabihin ko sa’yong panahon na,
Para sa pagpalaya natin sa isa’t isa?
Dahil kahit gusto ko mang kumapit pa sa’yo,
Pareho tayong mapapako kung ‘di lalayo.

Paano kung sabihin ko sa’yong paalam na?
Salamat sa mga ala-ala nating dal’wa,
At patawad sapagkat hindi napanindigan,
Ang unang pagsuyong ating inaalagaan.

Mahal, pa’no kung sabihin ko ang lahat ng ‘to,
Nadarama mo rin ba ang sakit na taglay ko?
Kung ang puso kong nasa iyo ay sugatan na,
Pa’no ko pang masasabing— mahal pa rin kita.

Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.

you're probably dating someone right now and you have no idea that you're just wasting your time 'cause you are going to be mine anyway,

I'm sorry.

but thank you, for not coming too soon, for giving me time to grow, to be better, to deserve you

don't get me wrong, love.
I'm dying to know you
I'm dying to tell you how my day went
I'm dying to tell you stories—I always have a story to tell, I hope you won't get tired of listening
I'm dying to hear your voice
I'm dying to feel your warmth
I'm dying to feel your love
I'm dying to feel

I am just not ready yet
I am broken, and I do not want you to fix me
I am lost, and I do not want you to find me
I want you to meet me halfway, love,
when everything falls back into place

Sometimes I think,
I should have stayed.
Til death do us part we vowed.
In sickness and in health.
Were there words about
not putting daggers in my soul, was there anything about not breaking me down until I forgot who I was?
Friday my therapist tells me, “remember who you are”.
I’ve spent the last four years remembering who you told me I was for twenty long years.
Too weak,
fat,
bad hair style,
wrong shoes,
bland cook,
messy in the kitchen
not good enough,
never good enough,
always wrong.
Who am I, I try to remember.
I try to reach deep inside and pull out the daggers one by one so my heart doesn’t bleed out.
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am desirable.
I am loved.
I am good enough.
**** it. I am all that and more.

And you? Nothing but a coward.
Even my leaving could not stop you from trying to destroy me.
But you didn’t count on me remembering who I am.
Did you?