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I can actually feel
The old, worn thread
Tugging on my heart
From the past,
The one that connected
Me to them
And when I pull on it
To reach
The other side,
It snaps.
to think
that at one point I was perfect
for you.
that I actually made you happy.
but now all I ever hear
is myself telling me every time I dissapoint you
and how much I messed up.
I try
everything in my power
to commend you and your feelings.
but now I feel like I have completely failed
both you and I.
so once again
ill apologize for my wrongs
and watch you walk away
just as easily as I watched myself
mess up once again.
I love you
I'm repeating
in my head
                              I'm sorry
I don't believe  
I said it enough to you.
It is a wonderful place to be,
          It is beautiful, calm and quite,
          It allows me to be unseen,
          It allows me to talk to my inner soul,
          It comforts me, with peace of silence,
          It allows me to dream,
          It allows me to cry n smile,
          It never ceases to be myself.
          When everything leaves it stays with me.
          It's a blessing in disguise!!
I think my heart may rip out of my chest.
Today I woke up feeling like I was still asleep. I don't think I washed the dreams off my skin.
I am typing with a bandaged finger, a testament to my carelessness.
I don't know how to guard the things that matter most. I am casual. I am not careful enough.
I don't know how to hold onto things before they change.
I am a human wearing a chameleons skin but I am not predisposed to adaptation.
 Jun 2016 Aylin Soto-Aleman
If only, if only you could see the things in my head,
the things I've thought, dreamed ,and feared.
If only,if only you felt what I felt,
understood what every word did to me,
what I've wanted to do to those who hurt my family.
If only, if only you actually cared what I was saying right now,
then maybe just maybe we could see eye to eye for once, and
actually get along like normal people but that's just.
If only.
Do we really know how often
We love?
Not the right man or the right woman,
But the beautiful souls that illuminate our way
No matter how scared we get.
No matter how lost.
Oh, that honest love left uncelebrated,
Just because it is not the love that everyone talks about!
Not all great loves are the romantic ones!
Some of them grow in the forgiven silence of a tear
In the patience that harbors the unspoken questions
Just knowing that at the right time
answers will come.
That’s also Love.
To Gabi
Who are we to say,
that a love is not to be?
That a love does not belong,
and can never be set free?

Who are we to think,
that a kind is not our people?
That a kind is far beneath us,
and will never be as equal?

Who are we to feel,
that a face can look unusual?
That a face must be a canvas,
and be painted to be beautiful?

Who are we to judge?
To say love is prohibited?
To think below of others?  
To feel minds can be limited?
If I were a teacher,

I'd teach plagiarism
Like a patent office.
I'd teach publication
Like plagiarism,
And I'll proofread
Any paper that properly
Cites their sources.

I'd teach every
Kid from age X to Y
That if I can't
Lift them as
High as they
Want to go
Than somebody

I would be the man,
That teaches subjects
Like I'm their King,
And I'd spread
Knowledge to every
Acre of my empire
I'd teach anything.

I'd teach chemistry
By making the reaction of
Why and How
Always synthesize

I'd be a catalyst
For positive change
By keeping every
School-yard bully
and kid that's always picked last
Around after class
To teach them physics,

Like if you have mass
And you take up space
Then you ******* matter.

I'd put the cool
in Coulombs.
I'd be so electrostatic
About magnetic fields
You could feel my fluxin'
Energy in the hallway.

I'd say
His story,
And Her story,
And everyone in-between's story,
Is about the day their parents met.

I'd teach ***-ed
Like it's about the
Day their parents met.
And it wouldn't be weird
It'd be beautiful.
Because anybody falling
In love is beautiful.

And speaking of beautiful:

Would no longer
Be a bottomless hat
But a bird.
With feathers and wings
And things that always
Find their way home.

I'd transform
The Fourier of
Our foundations
With equations
Of equality
Like you,
And I are
Always equal to

It'll be cake
To be genius.
....Or pie
Or whatever else is rational
In this situation.

And I
Would measure intelligence
With the answer to the question
Of why we are alive.

I'd standardize
Every test
By removing
Any box that
Takes us
Further apart

I would make art
Combining every
Color from East to West
In a masterpiece
That every child can draw
We'll call it "human"

I would solve
World hunger
And war,
And every other problem
That stems from greed
With answers to the
Questions that I still
Don't know

But I would show
Everyone whose ever
Made you hurt
That a broken heart
Has still got the
Courage to beat

Because it's their words
Where the heart breathes
Where the heart bleeds
Where the heart sleeps

And it's our dreams
That keep us awake
In the wake of our past

So I'd put every love letter
And box of their ****
On a bonfire, light a match,
And we would watch it burn.

If I were a teacher
I'd say there's
So much left
That I've still got
To learn.
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