Do you think I could lie forever in your arms, watching the autumn leaves fall lazily out of the sky, like the millions of wishes sent around the world?
Your arms, strong and protective, could keep me warm against the chill that sends whispers down my body, seeking to break my vulnerable mind.
Isn’t it funny how you’re unable to see how you break down my barriers?
How you have placed yourself so deeply inside my soul that your roots have become a part of who I am, who I’ve become, who I ultimately seek to be.
Forever and a day, a second too short, I wish to be yours, my love.
To wake in the cloudy morning light and feel your hand resting against my heart, beating an uneven rhythm only for you.
Fighting over sausage or bacon, peas or snaps, your laughter the soundtrack to my life, to my memories, fitting around me like a warm blanket.
Creating a life that will hold traces of eternity, a happiness that could only seem otherworldly, as it brings me up so very high.
And on that day when forever takes a break, I will seek that hand against mine, and those greens I will carry into the next world.

I have found a means to numb myself

To remove what confounded heart is left

For if what remains of it should break

All meaning in my breath will melt and I pray

Nothing will matter but my rage and hatred

...and I suppose what remains of myself

Removed? I fear it is a monster with nothing

To prove... A one eyed thing, a furious storm,

Hell bent to return what pain given / laid to rest.

No love remains if the only gift left is death...

Your decadence transposes me
I see you there in Jewels and honor
and I am shaken mightily.
With seraphim in my way
I ache for your position.

Light Blinds my mind of such Indulgence
i see slowly more reason for abstinence in all that you do.

You have shown me a worser way
and they call you the pigs.

Those who are disgusting in their wake.
Those who repulse the clean mind .
I see you and I want judgment upon you
But yet again Light blinds my mind
and I still see reason for abstinence in those things you do.

I could never hang you from a cross for your greed,
or for your anger or for your jealousy.
But you would hang me for my acceptance of it.

Maybe some day we will dance
Holding hands in disbelief
As tears of joy
flow from our eyes
While the field of flowers
will cheer in salute
Maybe our eternity
will come to an end
And our day will come
to begin . . . just maybe

Just maybe I hope
beyond my dreams

To those who say I am not enough:
What box of yours did I not check today?
For that is what you seem to be curating with your life
Empty boxes
Except for those tenderly placed checks that don't even come close to filling those boxes up
I do not want your empty boxes
There is enough emptiness in the world without you forcing yours on others
In my life, I want to curate boxes full of love,
Of hope
Of tenderness,
Of acceptance
Of inclusion,
Of forgiveness,
Of unconditional, raw, fulfilling purpose and everything-ness,
That everyone should find at least once.
For it is when these boxes are full of the good and true things of life,
That they become gifts.
And it is these gifts that should be given to one another,
Not these empty boxes with the ghosts of your disappointed expectations
That I will never be able to check and satisfy you,
Or bring happiness to you.
So I do not care I am not enough to you,
That I fail at checking your empty boxes.
Because here I am,
Bearing my giftboxes that I have tried so desperately to fill,
Hoping that you become brave enough to open them and find
You are more than enough,
And you can leave the shackles of your empty boxes and checks behind.