If I was to sit here and tell you my pain we’d be here for hours,
Pain is inevitable,
For some endless,
For me a darkness and lingers in the back of my mind waiting for a moment to envelop me in a blanket so heavy I have no way out,
I have to wait.
For someone outside that darkness to just whisper my name so I can swim up and just breathe.
This darkness is wide,
Even as I cry out to this darkness it has no sympathy,
My pain is mean,
My struggle is its joy,
My hurt is relief,
My sorrow is a sweet aroma to the stretch of my happiness,
Yes, I smile. A lot in fact,
But is it real?
I’m the best actress you’ve ever seen,
My smile is laced with the pain; darkness; hurt and sorrow that you will never see so, please!
Allow me to grieve for the happiness I can’t feel. I forgot how it feels, it’s numb but pain...
You’ve all but won.
i love you,
i truly do.
i love your eyes as they gaze down at me i see my reflection in your stare,
i see you see me.
your lips as they caress my name lovingly falling from you,
i revel in the moment.
how it ignites my heart sending it racing trying to burst from my chest.
an answer to your call.
how i love you,
i truly do.
what do you do when you feel stuck in a bubble?
your voice is muffled along with your cries,
this bubble of mine lets things in but is adamant against letting anything out,
so my space is filled; crowded; overflowing and completely overtaken by everyone- but me,
i reserved a spot for myself in the furthest corner of my mind,
put my body on auto and just... watch
i burn numb.
heated and unfeeling.
i'm the living dead.
and now i'm withering away
i hid behind a mask everyday,
my true emotions unseen,
i smile at you with crying eyes,
but you could never notice that.
after all these years my mask started to fade,
that porcelain smile turned to dust and blew far far away,
...fear all now on full display.
what about your happiness?
it flew away.
before i sleep swear to visit my dreams,
whisper broken promises up on my lips let me inhale the poisoned fumes,
i won't stop you,
i will love you,
i will become blind to the lies,
unfeeling to the ties that bind my soul to yours,
you stole my heart,
and refused to give me yours.
i see the world in her eyes,
she is mother earth,
her skin the colour of the richest earth bringing forth a plentiful harvest,
her limbs long; beautiful and they flow like the waves calm and graceful but capable,
her hips wide bearing the greatest fruit; you; me and what shall be,
her feet are rooted strong and steady,
from her lips come the gentle winds or the thunderous storms.
mother nature in all her wonders