My life ***** im always getting bullied,
people kick me, punch me and hurt me,
this one girl punched me in the face,
i just want to go in my room and die.
i think a gun, knife, hang myself or jump off the cliff.
but my boyfriend stops me,
he said i cant **** myself he loves me too much.
he broke up with me,
i just wanna **** myself,
he cant stop me now.
i grab a knife, i grab a gun, i grab a chair, i grab a rope, i grab a cord.
i wrote a letter to my family.

" I love you all but my life is ***** tell my ex-boyfriend this is all his fault. Dad if you want to go **** him, I'll watch from above.".

We broke up, and you found somebody new.
She's beautiful, she has everything that I've ever wanted... you.
She is pretty and smart. But she doesn't go fishing
she doesn't go muddin'
she doesn't go camping,
she doesn't go huntin'
but you had to have her so don't come crawling back
you wanted her well now you got her.
You're stuck with the little preppy princess sorry.
I'm not taking you back.

I cut
Just to feel alive.

I cry
Just to feel pain.

I skip meals
Just to feel worthy.

I don't sleep
Just to feel something.

Now, I don't even know
If I'm feeling anything at all.

Shirtless, barefoot, and
reeking of self-loathe;
he sat in silence
at the edge of his mattress.
Studying the black
lettering on the face of
the prescription bottle
through bloodshot eyes.
His name indicated in bold
just above the RX number.

Aloud he read the words
Amphetamine Salts
To the layman- adderall:
A quick fix for your
run of the mill '*****-up'.
But to him it meant yet
another night without sleep.
One more night away from his demons.
Without the crippling nightmares;
The reoccurring remembrance
of events no longer (if even ever)
within his immediate control.
Glancing over at the clock-
counting quickly on fingers,
he’d figured it’d been about
sixty-four hours since his last sleep.

The lack of rest accompanied by
excessive alcohol consumption,
was making things hazy.
Days bled into one another.
His eyes started playing tricks.
Now sitting up straight,
he applied pressure to the
childproof lid, and twisted.
Plunging his fingers into the bottle,
removing two more pills,
he held them for a moment—
Then, with the help of a
flat, warm, beer swallowed
another twelve guaranteed
hours without sleep.

Laying back, legs hanging
off the edge of the bed
muscles aching,
stomach growling,
eyeballs burning;
content in knowing
he'd die before ever
facing that dream again.

They went to school, They went to work.
I sit here alone waiting till they get home I get a text saying
"Your and idiot!! Go **** yourself."
I thought of how i already get bullied enough,
I can't take it. I get the chair and rope I hid in my closet,
I hang the rope from the ceiling fan, and make a video.
I am saying how horrible my life is and that I am just a waste of flesh,
I get up on the chair and put the rope around my neck,
I lip sync "Goodbye." as a kick the chair out from under me.
I died instantly.

As she sits in her room with the lights off,
she thinks about all the names she's been called,
geek, lame, ****, ******, stupid, lonely she cant take it no more
she gets her knife out and starts slitting.

she slits and slits until she goes to her other arm, she does a deep slit straight up and down while she still has the time,
she writes a note for her family,

"Dear family,
I'm sorry but i couldn't take it no more the name calling the punching, kicking and screaming. Every time you asked me if I was okay I replied with 'I'm just tired'. and you believed it. You never saw the tears in my eyes, you never knew how many times i cried myself to sleep, and you'll never know now. Tell Jess I love him. I love you guys too.
Goodbye."

Then she lays there on her floor dead.