and maybe i just
want to keep you
all to myself
—which is hardly fair,
but one thing I know for certain is that
I will miss the smell of your sweatshirt (it’s
hanging in my closet now, but I keep
the door closed)
I will miss the way I could fold into you
when everything around me felt like paper
flat and dull, but here you were
exhaling a sort of life force that came in the form of
a slight grazing of your knees and mine
your hands and mine
and I’d drift off sometimes, melt into
the perfect crease of your collarbone
so we’d thought, maybe
the measurements of our lips
would match up, too
that night it had hailed outside, and I
ruined my shoes
by the time I arrived
it was a strange place, it was not our living room or
glass vase or sofa
but you wouldn’t have been able to tell by the way we
collapsed into it and
each other, we spoke in hushed dizzy tones
drunk on adrenaline
and it was not long before lips grazed lips
and suddenly hands ran through hair and we could not stop it we could not
stop
I wore your jacket on the way home (you offered
to walk me to my street corner and I said yes)
I think we both knew this Us
belonged to that night
and that night only
but lord, was it
lovely
wrote this last december... disregarded because 1) I hate teenage love poems and 2) this was perhaps the cheesiest thing I have permitted myself to write