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May 2019 · 220
as it is
aury May 2019
i wasnt always the way that i am
afraid to wake up alone in 40 years
afraid of my emotions
scared to speak my truth
terrified of what may be
life has done this to me
and it has left me bitter
May 2019 · 201
One Day
aury May 2019
i will no longer resent you
and all that you are
i won't ask the night sky why
why why why
you entered my life
there won't be a you sized hole in my chest
that brings pain every time i breathe
and i will forgive you
for making me love you
i will feel no regret
when you come to mind
i will be at peace with what was
and what will never be
but today is not that day
May 2019 · 207
the L word
aury May 2019
imagine being so beaten down,
your heart left so mistreated,
that the word
love
sends a shiver down your spine
and knocks the wind out of you
all at once
its tragic
May 2019 · 223
Day by Day
aury May 2019
these days feel quiet,
so muted and blurry.
as May drags on
i find myself searching.
searching for memories of you
down every avenue.
time moves slow
like your fingers tracing my lips.
but sometimes far too fast
like our drives down I-90.
i wish i could just press pause
and take it all in.
truly feel the moment
because i never know when it ends.
i just want summer to rush in
Feb 2019 · 120
Life
aury Feb 2019
It's tiring to know
that life is an endless
revolving door
of people.
In and out,
some staying longer
than others.
Those who stay,
whose feet refuse to move,
are few and far between.
So when you find someone
who is firm by your side,
keep them close
and love them hard.
Jan 2019 · 157
Hello
aury Jan 2019
The moment I laid eyes on you I knew it would be you. I looked you up and down and I said to myself, "He looks like the kind of person that will break my heart." So I walked over, braced myself, and said hello.
Now that day feels like a million years ago
Dec 2018 · 339
The Golden Girl
aury Dec 2018
there once a bittersweet girl
she was fragile like a porcelain doll
and had a hopeful heart, unbroken yet

she fell in love with a boy
dark and stormy on the inside,
shattered more than a few times

their story is anything but a fairy tale
tumultuous from start to end
taking place a long, long time ago

this girl was not the nicest
not the happiest
or the easiest to please

but with him she was
a star, a summer breeze, a
soul truly at ease

his gloomy blue clouds
began to follow her around
stifling her golden glow

it wasn’t long before this
sad boy
got bored of his lovely doll

soon he found a new toy
something fun to entertain
and this new dolly quickly fell right into his trap

he whispered to his secret toy
sweet nothings all night long
although she knew he wasn’t hers all along

his golden girl never heard
a thing
her ignorance was simply bliss

his pretty new toy made him so happy
he couldn’t bear to part ways, so with her
he spent his sleepy nights, with his doll his days

he told her she was special,
his favorite little princess,
the secret was now far too much to hide

rumors only grow
so soon enough the word got round
and our stormy boy was caught

the porcelain doll
was shattered
from the inside out

but time went fast
the cracks were sealed
and the golden girl moved on

the same cannot be said
of the boy
who broke her heart

he loves her still
and lives alone
ashamed of what he’s done

he left his toys
and the years blew past
yet he never loved again
based on a true story
aury Dec 2018
I miss the you I used to know
The you I fell in love with
The you who made me laugh
The you who teased me just to see my smile
The you who cared about me
The you who couldn’t go more than a week without speaking to me
The you who always told me what was wrong
The you who said I’d never lose you
The you who let me into your space
I hate that version of you
Because you made me fall in love with you
You broke my heart and
It’s been months
And I haven’t been myself since
The pieces are too small to glue back together
now I wish I’d never met you
Nov 2018 · 690
Lonely Boy
aury Nov 2018
You play the victim well
Beg for sympathy where you know you’ll get it
As if you aren’t the galvanizer of the hell that you live in
Present yourself as the sad boy
With the broken heart
Left alone with no one to love
As if you didn’t isolate yourself
The destructor of each and every single relationship
Like a tornado
Blowing through all that once was happy
I have no sympathy for you, lonely boy
Just a hope
That one day you’ll open your eyes
And end your pity party
you’re a sinner
and you always have been
Nov 2018 · 212
Time
aury Nov 2018
I've waited 84 days
to feel a joy like I feel today.
It was always you, you ,you
never once leaving my thoughts.
Even on days where things felt okay,
it wasn't real happiness,
just going through the motions.
But today?
I think I really do,
I feel happy without you.
written: 11/8/18
Nov 2018 · 145
Part 1
aury Nov 2018
There are only two ways of which I know how to deal with the hurt.
The first way is simple.
Cry.

For months my cheeks have remained permanently stained with invisible tears. The constant rivulets have become so part of me, my friends have stopped noticing. They don't ask what's wrong anymore.
Bottle after bottle of water I force myself to gulp down. Not to clear my skin, or keep in good health, but in response to the dehydration headaches, caused by crying too hard
for too long.
I thought I ran out of tears to cry, just a few short weeks ago. I felt no pain when I spoke his name. I did not feel that familiar drop in my stomach when I saw reminders of what we used to have.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I awoke the next morning, my eyes betraying my gentle sleep, the dream of that boy still fresh on the movie screen inside my head. It's quite jarring to wake up in tears, alone.
Turns out what I had hoped was me moving on, was just one of those days where I feel absolutely nothing.
Empty and numb.
i yearn for the day i think of you and the tears just don't come.
Oct 2018 · 211
Common Occurrence
aury Oct 2018
It is 9:52pm.
My better judgement has lost today, so I unlock my phone; typing his name in imessage.
It is 10:21pm.
I read through in silence, his messages a grim reminder of what once was.
It is 10:50pm.
Here they come, like an unwelcome guest. Hot and flowing, the tears pour and my breath quickens. No signs of soon stopping.
It is now 12:13am.
My phone lays dark on my bedside table. My gasping sobs cut through the air, muffled and pained. My sheets cover my head and entangle my body, the only comfort on nights like these.
1:45am.
Up and down. My chest rises at a slow and steady rhythm. The tears are finally dry, no longer staining my cheeks. The memory of him now slips into my dreams, like a ghost in my subconscious.
These nights come fewer and further between as time has passed.
Oct 2018 · 83
weak
aury Oct 2018
if you think
you can just waltz back
into my life
after all the
pain
grief
and heartache
you caused me,
you are absolutely *******
right
because when it comes to you
there is nothing
that i wouldn't forgive
Oct 2018 · 193
Until the Summer
aury Oct 2018
This summer
Was the most loved
I’ve ever felt.

Good mornings and
Good nights and
Dozens of I miss you’s.

The smallest of ways
Were how she showed me
she cared.

A princess for a month,
That’s all I really was,
At least to her.

And though she ripped my heart to shreds
I wouldn’t change it for the world
In fact, I’d do it all over again
If it meant feeling her love one last time.
I guess I was always a ******* when it came to her
Oct 2018 · 181
Your Game
aury Oct 2018
When he looks you in the eye,
You see nothing but mischief.
A devious smirk plays across his lips
As he opens his mouth to flirt
In the only way he knows how.
He throws out a taunt with a small chuckle
And a glint in his gaze.
You smile and shake your head,
For this is the game you two play,
And although you hate to love it
You take a moment
To formulate your cunning response.
It must be playful, and not too hurtful.
After all,
You know how you both struggle
at determining just when
Too far is too far.

After a few rounds
His last jab strikes a nerve.
Your smile dissipates
And his miscalculation is made evident.
You turn away,
just like that the game is over for the day.
He regrets it, that much is clear,
But when it comes to games
Sometimes you win, and
Sometimes you lose.

As you stand to leave
He leans in close, so close his cologne
tickles your nose
“I’ll still see you tonight, yes?”
The words roll off his tongue like honey,
Leaving a sticky sweet taste in your mouth.
Your heart bounds,
And you’re fighting back a grin
As you nod and push past him.
You take a deep breath,
and exhale the butterflies
that seem to always reside
when he is near.
As they say, the flutter of a butterflies wings can set a hurricane in motion.

— The End —