I pretend to be okay,
But the truth is I'm far from it.
Life is so bizarre.
You always have to be up to par.

Even when you're trying to be yourself,
You're still being someone else.
Someone else shares your name,
And your style is the same.

When did different become alike?
Unique is now deceased.
When we think we're a leader,
In the end we're just a follower.

She's torn.
Wishing she was never born.
She became too worn.
But she will never know how many people came to mourn.

Love was once red,
But now it is dead.

I want something that I cannot have. I cannot have it because I don't truly know what it is. I've seen it polished and propped as if it were on display and I've heard the stories of how much time and effort it took to make it look as such. But I want it. I want love. I want the idea of it at least.
I want the fights brought about by events simpler and less important than the time we wasted to have them. I want to be pained by the sight of her pain and know that the feeling of knives piercing my chest when I see her cry is there because I would literally drive them there myself, if only to prevent her tears.
I want our laughs to intertwine over the smallest things and our conversations to stretch our minds over the biggest. I want to see you sleep at night and I'll smile because I know that you're finally at peace. And I want you to smile when you wake up because you know that I'm fighting to make your reality better than your dreams.
I want love. I want romantic love, I want crazy love. I want passion. I want to pick you up in my arms and in that brief present get lost in your presence. I want to be in you when I am in you and have you wish that I would stay forever. I want to be in your heart and mind, and I want our love to be torturous and blind.
I just want love. I want the idea of it at least.

I love you,
but I can't be with you.
It's not the distance.
It's not the time.
It's all in my mind.
I'm not stable.
I'm not pure.
You deserve the best.
You deserve more.
Sadly I can't give you that.
So, RIP to our memories,
and let them bring you no pain.
Someday you'll thank me.
For you'll never be the same.
You can do better,
and I've shown you that.
So goodbye and farewell.
I wish you all that you deserve.