For the sake of time
just undress your eyes and tell me a secret
Tell what you’re about and exchange
societal mediocrity for sincerity
Because I’m afraid you sometimes let lies and stupidity cling to your clothing
and I think you should shed
Like snow from the sky
and let me see some bones
some proof that you exist
if only in the conventional sense
if only in the measurable sense
Take a step back and let me look at you against a soft and powder blue back drop
Because I like the view
Because you are an image of actuality
and I don’t have to touch you to know that you’re real
I don’t have to trace the lines on your hands
to be taught that they not only circle around your wrists
but also across your face
and they tell a story
One I’m afraid will be misinterpreted, neglected
I’m afraid it will only be read as the surface of the skin
I want to dissect the look of concern from your face
Because I can only offer you a lack of words
for all I want is the sight of you
the sight and simple notion of your existence
which is a subtle scream smothered by the slap of the wind at our ears
and I’m not entirely sure if it was ever there at all
So I’ll ask you to scream it again and louder
until the sound rubs the slippery slide of your trachea
raw and ******
And I’ll ask you to scream it again and louder until the vocals
slip past my sense and sink into my mind
where I can only hope for them to subside as a memory of an explosion
and wait for them to bloom again in the spring
tangled twine of the mind
impossible for me to forget you

The leak of acid
from her eyes, stains the carpet
and will burn her thighs

She told me there are hallelujahs in my blood
She sees what I can’t know
She says she can read me like a book but there’s always more pages to read
more blood to be bleed
always more line to find in between
so tell me baby, what do you prescribe?
what other secrets does my blood hide?
does hell travel through my veins as well?
am I heaven or am I hell?
Tell me about the answers I can’t reach
because your obvious expertise
is qualification enough to sort through my organs
and ration out conclusions
Layout my truths, my lies, an obvious declaration in your eyes
I am yours to tear apart,
I am a discovery you’ll take to heart

I told you it was too cold to swim that night
but I stripped down to my underwear and followed you into the water anyway

The water was warmer than the air
and in the dark it held a new texture on my skin
I don’t remember feeling cold
and I don’t remember feeling wet
it was just the sensation of being surrounded by the water
like I was part of it
I’ll never forget how genuinely happy I felt
A feeling I thought was meant to be saved
only for the most important of moments
I felt it in my whole body and all the time now

At the farthest end of the pool I turned to face you
and clung to the side of the pool
You swam right to me
and you felt so close
We hadn’t said anything for awhile
and I could feel you looking at me wholly

I’ll never forget your smile
and how it could take up your whole face
how you would exhale deeply
and raise your eyebrows up at me

I’ll never forget how you let me see you cry
and how your eyes could become bigger and greener
than ever before when you did.

Later, after you drove me home
you promised you wouldn’t forget me
and all I could do
was try my hardest to believe you

I woke up screaming
a blanket of blood thick and heavy on my skin.
I was met by a circle of strangers each with an attentive gaze on me full of urgency and purpose,
My world was bright
and it held an overwhelming lack of color
I was malleable to these people
my body like clay
was completely at their disposal
They would mold me into the right shape so I could be like one of them

While in the womb my lungs only knew fluids
then after I was born
I broke through the veil of elements and air was invited into my body
Air which filled me wholly and inflated my lungs like balloons
Air made my body rhythmic and helped my chest learn to keep time
it helped me define the first separation from one reality into the next

I reach my arms up
when I know the sky won’t hold
to feel its scream

it’s wrapped around the earth so tight
and it bleeds
it breaks down into piece by piece
and it leaks

it is cold, the sky is so cold and
will fill my cupped hands
will tangle in my long outgrown hair
will stay clung to my body
will weigh me down

Sometimes my mind feels like it’s screaming
Just making too much noise and never
actually saying anything
I wish my mind were like the sky
Outstretched and blue
A fabric spread thin,
out across everything
Because then my thoughts could be like clouds,
no longer sharp or immobile
and my ideas could be like stars
Then maybe for once they could be seen through the dark