People ask what i see when i look at myself well here it is my answer
I see a man that fits no standards I see a heart with battle scars i see a soul that's gone a little dark i see two beautiful gray/blue eyes that shine with the fire of fight i see hands covered in colluses from years of work i see a tanned body from years of being kissed by the sun i see a mind that's wild and ***** and completely insane i see a little boy at ten crying tears of fear when he tells his mom goodbye i see a boy of thirteen cry his eyes out as he tells his mom goodbye for the last time i see a mind that is piecing itself back together from multiple personality disorder i see a fighter i see a lover i see a lunatic and i see a monster but i see one other i see a Big Brother that will do anything for his sisters and i see a potential father what i see i am finally proud of and i finally understand that what i do isn't who i am that doesn't make me my past is what made me who i am and people along the way that i have loved and lost and the ones that are still with me my family thats who they're and some don't even know the true me because i dont know if they'll stay or run away like everyone else did in the past this who i am noe you know and its your choice to stay or go

Pain some people say im insane
because of how much pain i can take
there is one pain i can't take the pain of the heart the one pain that makes me fall apart who would think that someone used to being left and desserted would still be able to feel the hurting Pain to me is like a game how much can it take Pain it excites me how can that be people ask
because my mind only focusses on one pain and thats my heart
maybe one day it will stop being shattered along with my hope by people i know maybe one day it can let everyone go and just die alone
i suppose that's how it goes  
a positive spin is this i have a strong soul so ill keep fighting till i reach my goal and ill let a woman or a man hold this broken heart of gold time is on my side i hope but man the Pain just gets worse with every person that says those words "I need time, I'm sorry I'm seeing someone, I'm back with my ex sorry you weren't good enough" how can a heart handle the wars when its bleed from all the open sores
I wonder if anyone hears my heart cry in the middle of the night im losing my fight and I'm starting to believe thise people are right

Rejection makes you question what you see in your reflection
it makes you ask what am i missing
rejection makes you create a big scene
rejection rips your heart to shreds
who would have thought someone could bleed so much red
for some rejection happens so often that they can't take it and they bleed
they bleed from the blade slices they think they need
some people reject other just for fun just to see the tears run then there are those that see the tears and recognize the fear in that person and they try to rectify their mistake
but from some its already to late
so think about what rejection does before you make a really big mistake

the heart talks to the mind and the soul
then it makes a decision to make another heart feel whole
then that other heart leaves and the heart falls apart
it wishes it never chose from the start
then it becomes lost because the heart is still in love
it can never seem to get enough
but wait there is another
there is thise hearts that get to be apart of each other
Lost hearts they die an fall apart
i have had a lost heart
and i know how it is when youre falking apart
my heart has watch its lovers turn away
time after time but its fets weaker each day
can someone save this Lost heart

He is the man in mirror
the man that everyone seems to fear
but no one ever gets to see him shed a tear
this man is who i see when i look in the mirror
he has just grown year after year
but under this ruff outside
there's a sweet and kind boy trying to hide
this boy hides because he is terrified
the world has torn this lil boy
so he put up walls that cant be battle worn
only those closest to this man get to see this boy
only they get to see his true joy
That lil boy is now the man in the mirror
its time to show the world what that lil boy has grown into forever
no more tears and no more trying to severe ties
no more threats or lies
its time to let this mans heart shine a true color

I met a girl
a girl with a broken world
i saw her in a different light
and i saw that there was nobody in her life
she is beaten and bruised with words
and nobody shows her how much she is worth
but im tired of standing and watching in the background
because thats not the man i am i stand my ground
i will show this wonderful girl what love is
and how she can fight this world and rise above it
if only she would take this beasts hand
and he'll show her a new land and a new dance
fair warning people call me a monster
but im a man like no other
and im a soldier in this war of life
for my loved ones ill always fight
that means you Liyah
ill be the light for ya
for a little lady named Aaliyah Gisele
ill walk through any hell

When will I find someone who bring out the good in me,
When will I find a good luck charm,
When will I be so happy to wake up in the morning time,
When will I believe God is real and he exists,
When will I be the old me again,
When will i find happiness,
Will I ever be happy,
Will I be that inner child I always were,
When will I hav a chance to breathe again,
When will I have so much hope and faith. . .