When I was with you, you made me feel like I had not one problem.
I looked at you and knew everything would be alright.
You by my side with your hand in mine made me feel safe.
I thought we could take over the world, just us two, no one else around.
But then I found out.
I found out that you had plans with another girl.
I told you everything.
I gave you my heart and soul.
I asked you, "Why are you so good to me?"
You said, "Because I like you."
Was that a lie?
I was played a fool.
My feelings are shattered and my heart torn.
All because you thought with your pants and not with your heart.
Did you ever care at all?
I don't know why I didn't see it.
You should win an Oscar.
You are the best **** actor I know.
But what I do pity you for, is you are missing out.
While you are too smug to realize, you just let one of the best times of your life pass you by.
Well, that's not my mistake.
You brought it upon yourself.
Oh! And as for the other girl.
I hope you enjoy it.
I hope you both enjoy it.
Because once the deed is done,
There's no turning back.
And to you, sir... Excuse me, boy,
I say only bye.
Because I would be lying if I said *goodbye

The dainty, dull leaves dance when the wind blows. As the wind blows, chills rush through my body like a mad dash to the finish line. I look up at the welcoming sky. Oh! How inviting it is. It seems to be a party for one who has returned home it is so joyous. I am mesmerized. Mesmerized by such a flawless patch of earth where nothing and no one matters. The tranquil, serene land whispers to me. It tells me to close my eyes and do whatever it is that I love most. I begin to dance. I dance like I have never danced before. Twirling, leaping, pliéing like I am the one, the only, person on the face of the Earth. I dance until my legs cannot dance anymore. I fall to the ground. Looking up at the cloudless sky, the secluded countryside hugs me. It is so calm, so undisturbed, so restful. I feel safe. This picturesque scene is painless to take in. As night dwells upon me, the clear blue sky turns to a city of stars. I look at the way home. The winding, dirt road ventures innumerable miles ahead of me. It trails beyond where the eye can see, off into the horizon where it touches the very stars above it. I cannot leave. Returning home to my cottage just around the bend was no longer in my mind. This wondrous night is so enticing. I turn over and the dewy grass embraces me. The world is at peace. Life is at peace. And to that, I can bid this day adieu. Slipping into a deep sleep, I am at peace.

As I pull my legs to my chest,
My weary head hangs lifelessly
from my debilitated neck
down in between my feeble legs.
My body is as cold as a corpse.
Oh! How I long.
How I long to no longer endure this wretchedness.
Merriment, gaiety and satisfaction are fictitious.
I live a nightmare of misery and despair.

I trusted you and you hurt me.
I trusted you and you threw it away.
I trusted you and you took advantage of me.
I trusted you and you abused me.
I trusted you and you threw me to the ground.
I trusted you and you struck me across the face.
I trusted you and for what?
You tell me, for WHAT did I do to deserve this?
I know why.
I know exactly why.
I trusted you.
I trusted you...

WE LOVE THE ONES WE'RE WITH,
YET WE MISS THE ONES WE'RE WITHOUT.
WE FANTASIZE OVER WHAT WE WANT LIFE TO BE,
YET DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT REALITY.
THEY SAY IF YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL SUCCED,
BUT WHAT IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU WON'T SUCCED?
THEY SAY I AM THERE FOR YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN,
BUT DO WE EVEN KNOW WHAT THICK OR THIN IS?
THEY SAY YOU HAVE TO FINISH WHAT YOU START,
BUT WHAT IF WHAT YOU STARTED IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN STARTED?
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST YOU CAN,
BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR BEST IS YET?
WE ALL LOVE.
WE ALL CRY.
WE ALL FANTASIZE.
WE ALL DISREGARD.
WE ALL BELIEVE.
WE ALL DOUBT.
WE ALL BEGIN.
WE ALL QUIT.
WE ALL TRY.
WE ALL WONDER.B
UT MOST OF ALL, WE LIVE.
WE LIVE TO BE US.
WE LIVE TO BE OURSELVES.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE, PUT HERE TO PAINT OUR OWN UNIQUE SHADE OF COLOR INTO THE WORLD.
PUT HERE TO BE YOU.

What am I?
Hell I don’t know!
I don’t know anything about anything.
I used to know.
I used to rule my own little world, day by day.
Now, I am not so sure.
As the hours pass from sunrise to sunset,
all I see is the truth.
Yet, I am blind.
I am blind to the reason for being me.
I do not have the knowledge of who I once was.
I am as opaque, as dense as one can be.
My mind is a labyrinth to my own thoughts.
My heart is a crypt.
My soul yearns for some sort of satisfaction.
Still, I am left waiting.
And while my temperament drips of stability,
there is this order of utterly perfect disarray within.
Only kept barricaded by my very own flesh and bones.
However, through my own insanity,
I see pure truth all around me.
I look at the world for what it is.
It is not cruel.
Nor is it gentle.
I look you and see who you are.
You
are
transparent.
I see religion, and ask, "why?"
Why?
Why is the only question I ask.
It is the only question that makes sense.
God.
You believe?
That’s great.
Why?
I don’t.
Why?
Tell me why I should.
I have no reason.
I have gone through too much to believe so.
I believe in the world.
Why?
Its nature of being what it is, is plausible.
You want more?
You are stunned.
Why?
Because
You
Never
Had
A
****
Clue.
That’s why.
You cannot believe it.
And I know why.
You never would have thought it to be me, living this life.
That’s the problem.
But, I applaud you.
Your courage to ask me who I am.
I am
a sister,
a daughter,
a friend.
That is what I am.
But, I am sorry because, well, I do not know who I am.
This is the only question to which I will not challenge asking why.
Because I do not know why.
Who
am
I
?

A. E. Murphy