Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Auden Mckenzie Apr 2016
My love is like David
Carved in time
A masterpiece of a greater design

My love is art
It's blue hues
And dark shadows
Swirling colors
That go from nothing
To something
Becoming everything.

My love is like stone
Hard.
But builds into something beautiful
A spiraling staircase
Leading to your eyes

My starry night
When Van Gogh was painting
He had your eyes in mind

My love is a stain glass window
Your smile is my sun
I come undone when you shine through me

Your love is a blank canvas
Waiting for me to paint the colors of my heart onto every inch.
Your love is a velvet rope
Look but don't touch.

I stand in the exhibit of our story told by oil paintings.
Moments captured by brush.
My love is the chandelier that hangs from the ceiling
Bringing to life the shadows of your love.
Auden Mckenzie Apr 2016
I see their eyes watching me. 
Begging me to let them catch me off guard. 
Life, no longer a playground of carefree laughter. 
I am dying. 
Slowing. 
On the inside. 
You can't see my silent struggle. 
My battle scars are of a different kind. 

They are vultures. 
They circle slowly,
Licking their lips as they watch me dissipate. 
My self implosion is futile. 
It's what they want. 
They play with their food. 
I am a feast they have been preparing. 
When I stumble,
They will be there. 
Waiting. 

I will be here. 
Sticky from the sweat, 
Their bright eyes shine on me. 
Follow me like a spotlight,
I don't want to be in. 
To be free would be to live unknown. 
Anonymous success. 
But, this is what I wanted. 
I traded my soul to feed them. 
They are still hungry.
Auden Mckenzie Feb 2018
I found a skirt at the thrift store.
Beautiful and vintage and too small.
So I bought it.
I’m thinking, “My new inspiration skirt. My motivation skirt. My, I wish I could fit into this skirt.”
Everyone does this. Right?
Am I the only one who doesn’t have anything to wear because my closet is full of clothes that I wish would fit me?
I think, “How hard it is really to lose 15 pounds?”
You know.. “The right way”.
The way that doesn’t leave your stomach gnawing away in protest.
The way that doesn’t make your head hurt and your hair fall out.
It can’t be that hard.
The old me used to run on an empty stomach and then wonder why she’s out of breath.
Sometimes she hides behind a mirror and it scares me half to death.
She couldn’t eat without the numbers.
Her thoughts sorting good food and bad food.
I always want the bad food.
Sometimes she’d let me eat, but never without filling my head full of why I shouldn’t.
She’d watch videos of low-cal, low-fat, no flavor, gluten free, vegan brownies, and then she’d pop in another piece of gum and go to bed hungry.
She would hate me right now.
I hate her always.
She thought for some reason the longer she could go without eating was equal to how strong she was.
Skipping meals became a test in self control and I've always been a bit of an over achiever.
I became half of who I was before.
She had those pesky pills stashed away in my dresser drawer.
This skirt would fit her.  
She would relish in the feeling of her emptiness.
She’d twirl in my skirt and wait for the low grumble of hunger to say hello again.  
But I’m not her.
She left when I woke up one morning and decided I didn’t want to punish myself anymore.
But sometimes, part of her lingers.
She visits only on my bad days, when my jeans feel too tight or my dress doesn’t fit like it used to.
She likes to remind me that I was happy when I was starving,
And it takes all of me to ask her to leave.
I don’t know why I bought this skirt.
Sometimes I can’t help it.
Old habits die hard and I still step on a scale almost everyday.
So I pray for strength because she’s my biggest weakness.  
To wake up and feel okay and not hate myself for who I used to be, but learn to love this body that I have been given.
Auden Mckenzie Apr 2016
I wander alone through the winding alleys of this beautiful city. 
Intentionally loosing myself with every turn. 
Claustrophobia vanishes as empty squares open under starry skies. 
The loneliness taking over as the city goes to rest. 

Dim light interrupts the shadows as I pass over,
To another bridge that leads to another alley. 
Becoming more aware of the steps that echo around me. 
To be alone but not alone and afraid that I'm not afraid.
Auden Mckenzie Apr 2016
Vibrations splinter and echo off of the walls of this bare and empty room
Silence interrupted. 
I sit staring up at the ceiling fan as it spins. 
Drifting farther into the void, until all I hear is noise. 

Until all I hear is the low hum of the tv I left on downstairs. 
An overused laugh track. 
My stomach full of ‪Sunday morning‬. 
Empty waiting. 
Empty thoughts. 
My mind is, for once, clear. 
Transparent overwhelming. 

No greater desire than to simply exist. 
An existence that's relative. 
Outside I hear the steady rumble of cars,
Driving by. 
People living lives. 
Silence amplified. 

Inside, it's getting colder. 
My breath is visible 
Surroundings are a blur
I try to hold on to the ticking of the clock on the wall. 
The sound of time passing. 
Precious wastefulness. 

I waited for this. 
My day full until it's empty. 
To be solely in my own mind. 
Peaceful silence follows. 
No longer feeling hollow. 
Fill me to the brim with nothing. 
I welcome it.
Auden Mckenzie Apr 2016
Your eyes remind me of Monet's
Impression, sunrise.
Like standing by the water,
At five o'clock in the morning,
Sea breeze and an oversized sweater.

Full of promise and new beginnings.
Like rays of light dancing on the harbor.
Salty air and messy hair,
I'm blown away by your captivating simplicity.

I could dive into your depths,
And never reach the bottom.
Swallowed whole by,
Your entrancing gaze.
Floating in the pool of your iris,
And delicate shadows.

Overflowing with a sense of serenity.
Birds perched sing a misty melody.
With eyes closed,
I take in the scene, remembering.  
This moment, your eyes,
And the way they are so much more than beautiful.

— The End —