haunting grey outside,
forced to reminisce.
some believe we should just be.
no mind,
no chemistry,
friends in need.
I was born complete
but now fractured and
blown with Autumn's leaves.
running in place
no direction,
just haste,
faking my way.
the membrane
between me and the pain
is thinning away.


~~~

She used to be happy, emitting joy,
She used to be friends with everybody,
She was the flame that the moths would fly to
She was the spark that changed it all.

But the flame has long died out,
The joy has vanished.
The words that were spoken cut her like a knife,
It took away her innocence, joy and almost her life.

She’s falling, falling oh so deep
Into darkness that you put in her world,
A world that she didn’t know existed
Until that day.

Oh darling, she’s gone now. Don’t you dare weep,
She’s here isn’t she…just in a deep deep sleep.

Breathe.*
Choke on the cold,
feel your lungs tighten,
your teeth ache.
Hold your arms in themselves,
cradle them as they shake beneath goosebumped skin.
Walk.
Walk slowly so you do not force wind against yourself,
walk slowly so you do not have to choose where you are going yet,
walk toward light.
Let it spill over you,
feel its heat,
you,
still frozen at the core but the light,
it is so warm.
This.
This is what you have been waiting for,
what you wanted but could not articulate,
this gentle touch.
*Breathe.

There was an army of ants in the plastic plants
So I poured light through a magnifying glass
And I created a fire on the artificial grass

They scurried and hurried
with flames on their backs
Like soldiers on a hopeless plain,
searching for invisible barracks

And I sighed as they died,
because we are all the same:
Scurrying and hurrying from invisible pain