Shove drugs down my throat

I appreciate the chemicals

The world remains in motion

But my body is stiff

I wish I could run away

Back into the arms that granted me fright

Fear has become my home

Terrify me one last time

nd one day i wont be lazy
nd maybe life wont feel so hazy
nd one day i wont b crazy
but im stuck in clockwork

nd i sit here pickin daisies
nd my minds a lil hazy
nd im thinkin bout the ways he’s
jus like artwork

the thread between dreamland and nightmare tears every time i look at u
ur the gray area in space and time
in dream and reality
in fear and love
ghost boy

i retraced my steps backwards and fell back into you
i wish you didnt catch me
im scared because i dont know how long i’ll remain falling
and i dont kno when you’ll let go

melted thoughts blend together in a mind spiraling with absolute nothingness within her skull

she can’t remember responses of the past

she continues to spin the same events through different people

repetition, her biggest enemy.

5 months of internalized dehumanization with the assistance of serotonin, turned a sick lamb into a fox

reverting into a mind functioning five months in the past, not knowing how to activate the drain the chemical had opened

thoughts melted into mud too thick to seep through the holes in the drain, located in the back of her mind. it’s been clogged for years

wasting time as time wasted her

constantly going backwards into nothing, thinking this is what home should be.

repetition, her worst enemy.

stocking her mind with artificial flings and friendships then wonders why she’s drowning outside her screen.

don’t look at me

nd it hurts so bad nd it shouldn’t but it does

nd I feel real sad *** i’m thinking of what was

between u nd I nd everything that could have been

but things ****** up nd we’re always blamin lynn

i’m alone again maybe that’s how it should be

i’m alone again, alone and never free

and I tried so hard to get u on my side

and I tried so hard but I know we’re just not right

impatient girl can’t grow her dumb flower

i’ll plant them in my garden
and i will watch them grow
and as they start to blossom
i’ll have them overflow
they’ll drown and die from water
and i start to begin
replacing all the flowers
that’s how its always been
i never like their pigment
its never the right shade
i’ll tear them from the soil
until my flesh will fade
and never see their beauty
i’ll never let them grow
because i tear the soil
before true colors show