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Feb 2019 · 137
I Don't Understand
Ashton G Feb 2019
I don’t understand
How you can still call me beautiful
While I stand here
With all my scars on display
Yet the words never failed or faltered to leave your mouth

Here I am
My skin bare and my soul naked
Your lips graze over my thighs, my arms, my chest
Erasing the marks made by dirtied hands
Loving the sullied innocence

Love me, the way I wish to have been loved all my life
Love me, the way I never believed I deserved
Love me, the way you always have

Here I stand
My scars shown
My life ready to be read
My heart open to you

For I love you
And every crevice and curve
Every line and every build
Every word from your mouth
Every smile
Everything

I shall love you
The way you love me

I don’t understand
How you love the parts I loathe.
I understand
You love me.
I understand
I love you.
I understand love,
That’s all I need
Nov 2018 · 81
I Can't Wait to Go Home
Ashton G Nov 2018
I need to leave these four walls behind me.
Couches stuffed with dust and pennies in the crevices
Moth-eaten curtains that kept just enough sunlight out
Floor boards that creaked and moaned in the middle of the night when Dad finally came home
Doors that shook the house during Big Brother's anger
Glasses broken when Mom finally had enough
Closets locked when I realized who I was

This is my house
Fake happy for our neighbours
Forced smiles for our guests
Pretend love for those who came to the door

I need to find a way out
To escape
Find somewhere safe
A better place
I can't wait to go Home
Aug 2018 · 128
Sticks and Stones
Ashton G Aug 2018
Sticks and stones
Sticks and stones
Will always break my bones
But it is my thoughts
That sneak into my room,
My s a n c t u a r y,
In the middle of the night
While I am most vulnerable
That **** me
Nov 2017 · 151
Forgotten Names
Ashton G Nov 2017
How many names
          Has history let go from its books?
                    How many stones are filled with letters
          That no one remembers?
How many faces were lost to the wind?

The countless forgotten names
The countless forgotten lives
                                             Letters
                                                         Loves
                                                                   Battles
                                                                               The ones that unraveled

I shall not be another name on a stone
     Lost in the wind
          Without a fingerprint left on this world
               Nothing left of me to find

This is my fear
          That no one will hear
                    A single verse, curse
          That I've spit out for all who are near
To show you all of the worst

I will not be another forgotten name
          I will stake my claim
                    I will take aim
                              And I will f  i  r  e

I will make a difference
          I will work to end the sufferance
                    Of all those who can't fend for themselves
          I will fight against ignorance
I will be belligerent

                                  Just wait
ha
Jul 2017 · 384
Useless Wishes
Ashton G Jul 2017
I wish you knew
Just how beautiful you are.
              I wish you knew
Just how lovely you are.
              I wish you knew
Just how much you mean to me.
              I wish
                            I wish
                                          I wish
                                                       I wish for so many things

If you knew,
              What would you say?
                            I know how you see me
                                          I know how you feel
                                                        I know this
                                          I've always known
                            But that doesn't stop this
              It doesn't stop the pain I feel in my heart
It doesn't stop the joy I feel in my heart

A sea in the middle of a storm crashes in my head.
              A sea of thoughts,
                            Of feelings
                                          That I can't control
                                                        I­t's
                                                             ­        Out
                                                             ­                      Of
                                                              ­                                   C o n t r o l

I know I can't have you.
I know it's useless to try.
I know you're unable to love me
              I know
                            I know
                                          I know
                                                        I know so
                                          Why must I feel this way?
                            Why must my heart torture me like this?

One day,
              This will pass.
One day,
              I won't hurt like this
One day,
              I might even tell
                                          Y o u
ii
Jun 2017 · 388
Kill Me Now Or Never
Ashton G Jun 2017
**** me now, or **** me never,
Do not taunt me with the endeavor.
Do not spit your empty threats at me,
Unless you will do so as you please.
Yell and lie as you will
And spout your nonexistent ability to ****.
Do not tell what should be,
Because no one decides anything but me.
So **** me now, or **** me never,
But do no taunt me, or I will greet you with the endeavor.
Jun 2017 · 255
On the Road
Ashton G Jun 2017
On the road,
The road to where, you might ask.
You are never sure where you might end up if you take this road
But, there is always an adventure upon it.
Mountains and ditches,
Peaks higher than the heavens,
Furrows lower than the depths of the ocean.
This road is hard and long
And you could always take the easier path,
But this road will lead to a place that could never be found along the easy path.
The lows will be painful, but the thrill of the highs will be make it worth all the while.
On the road,
The road  to where, you might  ask;
Take the risk and you may find out
Ashton G Mar 2017
Are monsters born, or created?
I stand before you,
Unable to comprehend what has happened.

Once, you were my friend,
My brother,
My alibi,
My family.
Once, I knew you.
Now I see a stranger,
A stranger who has killed, and destroyed.

In a world far off in the past,
We were children.
We were innocent.
In a world far off in the past,
We were together.

This was my fault
I stood off as darkness took hold.
It sank its claws in your skin,
Why didn't I do something?
Before it took your heart,
Your heart that was once so beautiful
That was once so kind.

I created this monster that stands before me,
And I'm sorry my friend,
But now I must undo what I have done.

Are monsters born or created?
I do not know,
But I made this one.

Once in a land far off in the past,
We loved each other.
Once in a land far off in the past,
I had not held a knife towards you.

I'm sorry, my friend,
Goodbye
Mar 2017 · 332
Why Must You Write?
Ashton G Mar 2017
Why must you write?
How strange, to question it.
To question something that is as needed as breathing.
For that is what I am;
A writer.
I shall bleed over the page,
To form words you question so adamantly.
I shall breathe in the sorrows of yesterday,
And expel them into the words of tomorrow.
I shall write the words I wish to scream.
Why must you write?*
Because, darling, I am a poet
I have no choice
Feb 2017 · 566
My Knife
Ashton G Feb 2017
My lipstick and fake smile drew you in

You didn't know about the knife under my tongue

Be careful

You'll kiss me and feel the sting,

But will be too far gone to care.

My fingertips are red from all the blood that I spilled.

My actions are fuelled by lust and hate.

Sweet little boy,

Be careful of the knife under my tongue

Because it will cut,

But you'll love the pain.

The flame that burns in my eyes is not a gentle one,

But a raging forest fire.

Sweet little boy,

You tasted the knife,

How was it?
Jan 2017 · 314
Unknown Danger
Ashton G Jan 2017
The beast wavers in and out of sight,
Stalking it's prey.
Rarely seen but always there. The prey knows it's there but not its danger.
The beast waits,
And watches
While the prey walks blind and content.

— The End —