100 minutes in the sky,
times flies by,

you are a temptation,
I let subside.

Being near you,
is like flying high.


So high...


The bedroom with you,
is like 100 minutes



in the sky.

If our love is forbidden,
then you must be
a rose petalled crime scene.

My own special episode of Law and Order;
Special victims unit.

A chalk outline
made of rainbow colors.

Ink stains your skin,
just like police reports.

Knife sharp love
murders the bad,
while forever preserving
the good.

Emotions in full bloom,
bedroom,
now surrounded by police sirens.

You are middle of the night excitement.
Escapes and otherwise.


You are a law I am willing to break;
my rose petalled crime scene.

i knew it when she came
and your eyes
shifted.

i knew you knew back then
how i secretly had invisible flowers behind my back
that i never had the courage to give you.

yet i let you break my heart.
i let you use me --
giving you hints about the girl she was
just further reminding myself
of the girl i can never be.

and even months later

i was still carrying the dead flowers
behind my back,
the ones who died from discouragement
and low self esteem.

but i still carried them.
within me,
their pollen sticking to my hair, skin, and soul.

They think my nerves are cold
steel; they call me unnn-real, like
I'm a big deal; they think I'm all
fight, that I've gained deeper in-
sight. Like I'm alright. Like I don't
cry. And all I did was not die.

I am 14
I go to school
I do my times tables
I write my essays
I do my homework
I get shot

I am 14
I’m stressed about school
I’m worried about my grades slipping
I’m nervous when talking to my crush
I’m anxious when speaking in front of the class
I’m scared that the sound I heard was a madman with a gun

I am 14
I am confused
I am frustrated
I am enraged
I am scared
I am hiding under my desk trying not to scream

I am 14
I hate school
But for the wrong reasons
I hate it because people have died in my halls
I hate it because every sound I hear is a gun being shot
I hate it because I’m scared I’m going to die

I could never tell you
exactly what's going on inside my head,
so I'll write instead.
Drown my thoughts in paper & lead.
Keep my hands alive,
and my expression dead.

We’d spend ENDLESS hours sitting in your car, but with how amazing you were.. and how firmly you grabbed my heart.. those hours felt like very brief seconds.
Getting that “come outside” text from you at 3 am, I’d tip toe down my stairs and out my back porch door to rush out and go see you,
You always had that Amity Affliction CD I gave you bumping as I would open the door to your car and be greeted with a nice warm hug and a soft spoken voice that would always whisper in my ear “I missed you” as you would squeeze me tighter and tighter.
Every night.. we had no destination. Talking for hours and hours and my god.. how I loved the sound of your voice. How it comforted me during my times of deep distress.
These are the nights I would live for..
We would park on the side of a dirt road and lay on the hood of your car, with your head on my chest and we counted stars together as I would kiss your forehead and you would hold me a little tighter. Your scent is something I’ll always have imbedded in my mind and my heart.  
The chemistry was irreplaceable but the time for “us” was never right.
You cross my mind every so often now as I sit on my porch with a half smoked raw cone. I wonder how you’re doing.. if who you’re with is treating you the way a princess deserves to be treated.. I’m not sad because it ended.. I find myself smiling because it happened.. thank you ❤️
-Sorrows