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Ashley Rodden Sep 2014
We bleed so many colors when we open
Ourselves up wide
Burning blue in the night
And it's hard to make this work
When you're feeling all alone
But, I've been waiting so long
To hold you in my arms
Embrace you forever
Make you my whole world
Water fills these eyes
Still love notes and Valentines
Aren't enough to keep me in your mind
You are the shadow of everything
That I'm not but want to be
You wrote your name inside of my life
And that's where it will stay
We wait until dark
To try and make a mark
One that remains until we're done
Pretending again
Trying not to forget where we are
Or who we're with
Words can cut this tie we've made with
The sharp side of the blade
And our words play out
They drag us down make us
Start to feel like one of them
Just make sure you keep me in your heart
Write my name in your bloods ink
Why did you take my life apart?
Why did you offer me the world?
When the night is full of faces am I still the
only girl?
Because you're still the only one
I turn your world from disaster
You make my heart start beating faster
I ask the questions
You give the answers
Need you now and I can't stand it
I never thought this would be easy
And you let me go when I say I'm leaving
So whisper softly as you try
To tell me how you feel
Just tell me how you feel
I need your voice tonight
Pick me up, put me back together
Stitch me up, make me feel better
No control of my emotions
A ticking time bomb ready for explosion
This life we made is so full of color
And that will not change
But we could change the way we see them
and Your words fade when I explain
Why I hate them
We are the same
And I keep repeating
All that I'm needing
Say you're right here
But you seem so distant
Saying sorry again the same old story
so now tell me how it ends...
Ashley Rodden Aug 2014
Listening to the blues
Hear Stevie croon
Gives me a feeling of such solitude
Even though you're just in the next room

Smoking an ashtray full
That's so not cool
I must be a ****** fool
I thought sharing was the golden rule

This relationship's no fun anymore
It's turning into a chore
You promised so much more
But left me with a heart so disappointed and tore... :'(
Ashley Rodden Aug 2014
If you have to eat McDonalds
all alone
when you have a boyfriend
then what's the friggin' point....?!
Ashley Rodden Aug 2014
I want to scratch these words onto pavement
When I hear your voice saying
Reel me in then you disappear again
Left on my own
This is what it feels like to be alone
All I have now are these words on paper
You wrote them down just to erase me
Afraid to show yourself
I was never for sure how you really felt
While I kept track of time that was already spent
I always came up empty handed in the end
Try to forget it but you left scars everlasting
It won't leave my mind and I suffer slowly
Like being punished for all the lies you ever said
How do I execute my feelings so you understand
The silence hurts my soul
You just want what's best for you that clearly shows
And I'm left with crying eyes because
You can't erase a sin
Your sweet nothings were so deceiving
Nothing left to say that hasn't already been spoken
You don't need me  
Like I want you to
And you can't see me the way I see you
Just wish I had you like you have me
When I was lying on the floor
I can't believe you wouldn't save me
But you blame me
You messed with my mind
And I wasted your precious time
You said you would never let me down but,
We are so unforgivable now
Ashley Rodden Aug 2014
I've been walking alone
Waiting for someone like you to come along,
To take my tortured heart by the hand
And force me to become strong
I'm so tired of hiding behind this
Smile I'm forcing that even
I don't recognize anymore
Do you know...
I'll never have all the answers and
You'll never have enough time,
But we'll sure have all the reasons
Why this isn't what we wanted to find
Do you know...
I'll never lay all my cards out even if
You just want to play because,
These days everything's all business
And there's a lack of arms around me now as I sleep
Do you know...
Sometimes I just want you to paint my face
And pretend I'm made of clay, to just start over
So someone could sculpt me into a better shape
Because I can feel myself slowly falling apart
So won't you come take a walk in my shoes
And maybe you will see then that it's not so easy
Trying not to love in spite of me...
Did you know...
Sometimes I find myself shaking in the middle of the night
Then it hits me and I can't believe this is my life...
Why do I make it so hard to love me?
Why would anyone even start to try?
Because I can see all my bridges burning now
As all the smoke is in my eyes...
Do you know....
I just wanted to always be right
But I've been wrong from the start
I've waited for you
Tried to make you happy
Closed my eyes and let you fall apart
And I wonder what you think you could possibly know
About breaking down that I don't....
Do you know...
It's been a long time since
I've begged for anything
But I'm begging you now
To lay me down on this bed of rust
I'm lonely help me shake it off like dust
I know you don't understand me
And you'll never even try...
But just know...
I don't mind killing all my time as long as
I can lay here by your side
And see that look in your eyes
The look of confusion and lust
As I remove this iron smile
That's been weighing me down too much
And when tomorrow comes
It will be just one more day that we don't find true love
Because we don't know what it means...
Ashley Rodden Aug 2014
It's muggy outside tonight
with a cigarette lit and
***** in this can
making me realize how tired
I really am
what a long week it's been for me
and your face is all I manage to see
bad dreams last night
have me feeling caught in an emotional fight
what is it I really want...?
do I need *** or sleep perhaps something in between
I sit and shuffle through the cards life has dealt
practicing my best poker face
will I ever find my place...?
so much for me to have to decipher...
and I'm so **** tired
Ashley Rodden Jul 2014
Forgiveness, hard to give
  Pride, easy to have
   Hurt, not easy to let go of
Hope, hard to find
Faith, hard to keep
    True Love, the hardest to give, have, let go of, find, and keep...
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