I took my time
While I was making up reasons in my mind
To justify all this pain I've kept inside
From fake smiles to lieing eyes
I wanted the bitterness in me to just die

My mama never loved me much
I've never felt honesty in a touch
I shy away from human affection
Until the day you came to me, baby
And I soon found out
Love is blinding, there's no surviving

We had been tried for treason
And crimes we never committed
Love was such a barren place
Seemed there was no hope for the human race
So I started hanging all my hopes on stars
Until they would burn out and be forever gone

My heart was in pieces
Left for the scavengers
To come and pick it apart
I was imprisoned inside my own mind
Hiding behind a convincing smile
All the while thinking
There must be some serenity left in this life

The demons of my own design
Followed me down
My failures engulfed me
And stole my will to fly
But I survived and now
The taste of love will never leave my lips again

I hated all the broken pieces of myself
Until you loved them with a passion
Now I'm feeling completely unbroken
And the brightest parts of me
Are only shades of you
The line is drawn
I pledge my devotion will remain true
This heart is yours everlasting
Your words are forever my inspiration
And my heart beats your name only

It's easy to lose faith in things unseen,
Unsure of what to believe,
Just dying to be loved
Giving up on hopes and dreams,
And letting doubt take everything
But my belief in you will always remain

For so long
I tried to save myself
All the while in sorrow I was drowning
My heart crying out
Then there you were
An image of sheer perfection
You saw the beauty in my flaws;
you pick me up when I fall,
show me the way when I am lost
In the eye of the storm
I know now I'm not alone
Because you give me the strength
I need to carry on

I find my purpose when I look at you
I'll be transparent with my heart
Letting my true colors shine through
I'm a poet without words
Speechless cause you love me at my worst
What did I do to deserve
Someone like you?

You were a starving artist
But you let your walls come down
And found that love is limitless
When you find what's meant to be
It's Supernatural,
It's more than what can be seen
A trust that couldn't be broken
Always seemed impossible to me
But now I've tasted true love and I believe
We're eternal
                             You and me

What a ride this has been...
I'm exhausted and I know you are too.
I feel so drained and like I have made no difference whatsoever.
I want to get you out of the dark place you're in so bad.
It hurts to watch you sleep and have to wonder where you're at.
Baby come back to me, please, just come back.
Don't go to that place where I can't.
Don't leave baby she needs you here with her.

I'm just so tired.
I ache from the mental and physical stress.
My emotions are a huge mess.
I just want to fall into a deep slumber of peace.
I want to lay in your arms and feel safe again.
Why can't I just save you?!
Why can't I help you through all of this?
Why can't I be where you are?
I feel so nonfunctional.
I'm so tired.

I want things back the way they were.
I want the old you back.
It's like you're half alive but mostly dead.
Even in my dreams lately I can't reach you.
And the thought of losing you scares me so bad.
I have started this love thing with you.
What good is it going to do me if you're not here for it?
This is why I was so hesitant with my heart.
This is so tough and I don't know if I'm strong enough.
I didn't want to need you this much.
I didn't expect to miss your touch.
I have to get you through this.
I have to muster up all my strength and pull you out of this place.
Let me help you.

I can't watch you unravel in front of me like this.
It's like you're falling and I can't catch you.
You're barely hanging on and letting go with all your might.
When I fall you are there to pick me up so why can't I do the same for you?
I am just so confused.
Feels as if I'm spinning out of control.
I feel **** faced drunk.

I want to feel pain.
I want to hurt like you.
I want to understand the pain inside of you.
Feeling you inside me in my veins is the only cure for this ache.
You have become such a part of me and I a part of you.
When you hurt it hurts me too.
When you smile my soul lights up.
When you cry my heart weeps.
I don't know how this connection between us happened.
And words could never explain it well enough to matter.
So just come back to me where you belong.
Baby, please don't let me let you go.
Just come back into the light.
Because I am scared I can't save you
From this dark in your life.

I am intelligent
One of the smartest people you'll ever meet
I am unique
I follow my own drum to a different beat
I am funny
With tons of charisma
I am witty
I have a silver yet sharp tongue
I'm tired
I can sleep for hours upon hours at a time
When I'm awake
I'm always up for some fun
I am sad
Down in the dumps again
Detached  
I will leave you
Because I can
I will lift you up
Just to tear you down again
You will thinks it's over
That you got it all figured out
Then I'll remember why I loved you so much
And how I need you to come back
Because without you my life is not complete
And you need me too, so don't try to decline
We are meant for one another,
You and I
I will come and go over and over again
So you can hold fast or let go of me instead
I have compassion for others
Because of the way I am
But I feel sorry for myself
time and again
I like my own routine
Yet I want to give you all you need
I want you to stay
Please don't abandon me
Now I want you to leave me alone please
I need down time
Just for me
I need to vent
To my best friend
Where is she?
I am a dreamer
With an unquiet mind
I am reasonable and grounded
Yet I want to fly
I try my best to understand
and be sensitive to your wants and needs
I give
I take
I try to hide myself for your own sake
I constantly battle these thoughts in my mind
I fight with my demons all the time
I love a bed
I can stay there for days
I struggle with who I really am
Me or this disease?
I will love you like no other person possibly can
Deeply, passionately, with ever molecule of my heart
At first glance you fall and hard
But My love will be a huge double standard
With my constant battle against entropy
Between ideality and reality
Seeking a way out of this mundane, humdrum existence
I'm in
I cannot tell sometimes where my personality
ends and this illness begins
My daydreams turn to hypo-mania
With all these gray areas
All my choices are not rational all the time
I chose to react
I chose to get help
I chose to be better despite my illness inside
I will be passive aggressive and egotistical
All symptoms are different and coping mechanisms
are tailored for each individual
Religious fervor
Shopaholism
Insatiable libido
Are all hard for you to fathom
Along with my mixed state of mind
Sometimes I'll just want to die
You will feel pity
Then you will feel inspired
And it's admirable of you to weather
the storms with me
But foolish to let me always be the one under
the umbrella and you left in the rain
This relationship cannot be a competition
with my disease
I regard my illness as an intimate part of me
Something you will never understand
It's easy to confuse love with mania.
The problem is love is fleeting
there is no cure for bi-polar
Doctor visits,
blood tests,
complicated regimens of medications
until they find the magic combination
Delusions and hallucinations
Being misunderstood by a population
generally unfamiliar with my condition
You just don't understand.....
I hate myself for everything I think "I am"

You were the burning sun in my world
Now my blue skies have all turned dark
But I know we can work this out
Just let go of all the doubt
Got my mind made up and I won't let go
Though I'm constantly fighting the urge to succumb
I'm traveling this rocky road all alone
I hope you understand why I can't pretend
that I don't need you here with me
I hope you know I can't break these chains
I crave you, breathe you, see you in my dreams
I'll never be able to replace you or fill the void you left within
You said you'd never leave me
But I look around now and you've disappeared
So I cry and I still try to save you because I can't escape you
Don't you know I love you?
Longing for you makes my world seem hazy
And the pain is killing me baby
I'm scarred so deeply time can't erase the pain
Why you coming at me?
Why all this struggle and strife in my life?
You said you wouldn't hurt me
never lie
But you used me
and it breaks me hard as still you abuse and
All this suffering won't suffice
Yet I'd still do anything to have you by my side
But now I'm standing still for my own selfish sake
for I know not what direction to take
I'm waiting for a sign
To show me if you are still all mine
Guess I'm waiting to see
If your love has finally ran out on me....