Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Aug 2019 · 222
Second choice
Ashley Jerome Aug 2019
I'm so tired of being a second choice
Don’t tell me I’m not because that’s what I’m feeling right now Whenever she’s not there you always come and run to me and act like you never left me in the first place
Whenever she’s not there, you now remember my presence; in which you forget the first time we just met
Whenever she’s not around, that's when you come and talk to me and use me as entertainment
I'm not her
I’m not as good as her
I’m not pretty like her
I can’t be her
I'll never be her
You can’t comfort me by saying I’m not
Saying that you really cared for me
Saying that I'll always remember you whenever I left or whatever I just disappeared
Saying you love me even though you really don’t
You can’t comfort me anymore because I know what the truth is, and I really think I’m not worth saving
I’m a second choice
And whenever she’s with us, I’ll always be
Apr 2019 · 243
im not better
Ashley Jerome Apr 2019
im not better, okay?!

im not better!

And i keep waiting for someone to figure that out and they don't!

i mean, of course, they dont 'cause as long as i say the right thing and i act the right way, they're happy

because that means that they cured me right
Apr 2019 · 159
im done
Ashley Jerome Apr 2019
im done with
all the *******
all the disappointment
all the nights up late crying
all the arguments with my parents
all the **** i get from my parents
all the days and nights crying alone in my room
all the nights cutting
all the nights up late studying
all the ****
i am DONE!
Jan 2019 · 639
...
Ashley Jerome Jan 2019
...
PLEASE
HELP
ME!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 2019 · 168
The two sides of her
Ashley Jerome Jan 2019
At school
she's smart, funny, sarcastic, independent, and amazing
At home
she's worthless, ugly, depressed, broken
and
she has
blood
dripping
and
bruises
scattered
all over her body
Dec 2018 · 1.8k
help...
Ashley Jerome Dec 2018
I love you

No you don't

I love you

No you don't

I love you

No you don't
(god why)

Yes I do
I love you
You know that

No you don’t
You don’t and I know that

But I do I love you

No you don’t

Yes I do

No you don’t

Yes I do

No you don’t

Yes I do

No you don’t

I do

No you don’t

But I do I love you

No you don’t
You cant and you wont
(why doesn’t he understand)

Yes I do
I love you

No you don’t

I love you

No you don’t

You don’t know what you mean to me

Because you don’t “love” me

Yes I do

No you don’t

Yes I do

No you don’t

Yes I do

No you don't, no one can and no one
will ever "love" me because I'm broken,
stupid, worthless, ugly, useless, shy, naive,
not good enough, a mistake, depressed,
pathetic girl who should have been dead
already and no one will ever "love" me
(god this kid)

Yes I do to me your not broken stupid ugly
or all the things you say you are to me
you are perfect. You are an everything
to me. I want to help you because I
love you and I care about you. I will
always love you. Just let me help you if
your broken then.

Let me help you

No you don’t, that’s what everyone says
and what do they do, they leave, all the
people who have cared about me, left me
except my 3 best friends, and I know you
really don’t, I know that you don’t care
and you  don’t love me, I know that I’m
broken and I’m unfixable
(Im about to have a ******* breakdown right now)

I do care about you just give me a
chance let me help you I won’t leave you
I love you and I want to help you just
give me a chance

No you don’t

Yes I do just please let me help you

No you don’t

Yes I do just let me help

I love you

No you don’t

Yes I do

I want to help just give me a chance

No you don’t

Yes I do

Just let me help

I don’t care if you don’t believe me
Just let me help you



Just let me help



Let me help

Why should I, you don’t care

Yes I do

Just let me help

No you don’t

Just let me help I don’t care if you
believe me

And you can’t, I’m so broken that you
cant even help
(why doesn’t he understand)

That’s what everyone said about Thomas
Edison when he was making the light bulb
nobody believed he could do it but after
enough time he did it
(seriously....******* thomas edison?, who uses ******* thomas edison?)

Beside you don’t know that if you’ve
never let me try

BECAUSE I’VE BEEN THROUGH THIS
MILLIONS OF TIMES AND EVERY TIME
I TRUST PEOPLE, THEY LEAVE ME AND
LEAVE ME MORE BROKEN THAN BEFORE
(there it is, this is what I was worried about,
I finally broke)

I’m sorry that’s happened to you
But let me help

DON’T YOU ******* GET IT, I CAN’T
(no I can’t, wheres my blade)

You can’t or you don’t want to

(*** stop it, I'm done, yes, i found them.)

Because your afraid I’m gonna leave you
Like everyone else

I ******* CAN’T OK? NO STOP
PRETENDING LIKE YOU FUCKINNG CARE
WHEN YOU DON’T

(AHHHHHHHHH, ****, now it’s too late, I just had to,
thanks to him, I finally did it, now
I should clean up )
help.... this is an actual text conversation i had with a guy who liked or "loved me, and the () were my thoughts during this
Dec 2018 · 13.4k
Rainbow Suicide
Ashley Jerome Dec 2018
Red were the roses, the ones I left on your casket,
Orange were the leaves, the ones in your tree,
Yellow were the bruises, the ones that covered you head-to-toe,
Green were the stains, the ones left on the hems of your jeans,
Blue were your lips, the day you were found in your noose,
Indigo was the night sky, that night that you died,
Violet was that bruise, the one you wore around your neck
by Alice Thyne, but i can relate so much
Dec 2018 · 185
im...
Ashley Jerome Dec 2018
I'm the ugly sister
I'm the horrible daughter
I'm not even the second choice
I'm the "leftover"..
I'm not the clever one
I'm not the skinny one
I'm the talentless one.
I'm the "why are you even here?"
Dec 2018 · 313
cut away
Ashley Jerome Dec 2018
so i grab the knife...
put it up to my wrist...
close my eyes...
and...
just...
cut away...
i take one good slice...
so fast...
that i can feel it...
till its too late.........
Dec 2018 · 265
Why...
Ashley Jerome Dec 2018
the scars that you see
they were all made by me
and the tears have turned red
with the blood that i've shed
people think i'm lost to the madness
but really, I'm just cloaked in sadness
i could use a rope or i could use a knife
looking back on my whole life
i see the pain and i see the hurt
i feel my heart is about to burst
the blood will flow
why can't they see
that all my life
i've been afraid of
...
me
Dec 2018 · 99
That girl...
Ashley Jerome Dec 2018
that girl in your class,
she has good grades,
she doesn't even have to try.

that girl in your class,
she has seemingly amazing friends
that care about her

that girl in your class,
she has scars;
lines marking her body
and friends that don't notice
and some don't care

that girl in your class,
doesn't remember
what it's like not to cry.
she cries herself to sleep
every night.
Nov 2018 · 949
Heaven was needing a hero
Ashley Jerome Nov 2018
I came by today to see you
Though I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you and never let go
Oh it's kept me awake night wonderin'
I lie in the dark, just asking why?
I've always been told you won't be called home until it's your time
I guess Heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is that Heaven was needing a hero like you
I remember the last time I saw you
Oh you held your head up proud
I laughed inside when I saw how you were standing out in the crowd
You're such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more
'Cause Heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it though
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is that Heaven was needing a hero like you
Yes, Heaven was needing a hero, that's you
This is by Jo Dee Messina but this makes me think of Angel
Nov 2018 · 160
I am...
Ashley Jerome Nov 2018
the fat friend
the ugly sister
the dumb classmate
the second choice
that depressed girl
the hated child
the *****
the ugly duckling
the girl that will
never be good enough...
its the truth tho...
Nov 2018 · 179
Go Away
Ashley Jerome Nov 2018
"Go Away"
is just a
lonely person's
way of saying
"Show me that you care enough to stay"
Nov 2018 · 617
Suicide
Ashley Jerome Nov 2018
some slash their wrist,
ingest a bottle of pills,
jump off a high rise building,
hang themselves, or
blow their brain off.
and in that moment,
when they are bleeding to death,
closing their eyes for the last time,
hanging loose in the air,
about to let their weight drop
and let that
bullet pierce through their skull
are moments, they fell the most alive
maybe suicide
is meant for that
so very "special moment",
to feel alive
just once before
you cease to exist
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
Words can have two meanings
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
I'm fine = I'm not fine. Please help me.
I'm just tired = I can't take this anymore.
I already ate = I starve myself.
Go away = Show me you care enough to stay.
I'm just cold = I don't want you to see my scars.
I'm better, I promise = I've never been this bad.
I'm okay = I just want to die.
I can relate so much that it is sad
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
Even if you
can not hear
my voice,
I'll be right
beside you
this is for you- XII - V - MMXVII, I should have saved you
Oct 2018 · 119
Because of you
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night to sleep
I was so young
You should have known
Better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same **** thing
Oct 2018 · 121
How did we not see it...
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
No one suspected it...
the smile on her lips
the laugh
her sarcasm
her big heart
those beautiful eyes...
Were there to hide her darkest secrets
Oct 2018 · 599
She's so gone
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
She's gone
She's gone too far deep that
No one can save her
All you see left
is
A shell of the independent girl
that is now scarred with
invisible and visible
batte scars
Ashley Jerome Oct 2018
What do you see when you see her...
A smart, amazing, independent women who is there
for anyone?
OR
The depressed, bullied girl with
Scars dripping blood
and bruises
scattered on her body

— The End —