I've unwound my crooked spine
and forced it into a straight line
Planted my feet in the ground
and grew a whole new world for you

I've choked down a thousand perfect words
and left them stuffed into my throat
Almost impossible to breathe
And then on top of that, I smoke
Covering the metaphors with tar
And coating my lungs in a joke

A time or ten
I've lost a friend
To overdose, to suicide, to car wrecks
Death sneaks around on silent toes
Remaining in the shadows of the things we'll never know
And life is just over
Before you even know it, there is nothing
And no one
And nowhere left to go
that you haven't already been

I've been stung a hundred times
by the spines of porcupines
Or so it seems
as my voodoo doll heart
falls apart
from an overabundance of pins
and a lack of sturdy thread

i am a hollowed out tree
whose roots have become so withered
and small
that soon i shall stop growing taller
and i will finally fall

i'm not a beauty queen
or the girl of your dreams
i'm just an amalgam of all
the pretty women that you've seen

i don't want to taste your spit
i don't even like my own
i just want to dance in the rain
naked and alone

everything feels like
an ocean
around me

the air is so heavy
and thick
it almost defies logic
and tries its best
to suffocate me

i get lost in the thickness
staring off at the endless blue
as i daydream about a better life
and i almost forget who i am
even if only for a moment

the rotting soil
beneath my feet
causes me to sink
and my well rooted feet
have become heavy
and seemingly impossible
to move

i thought you were different
when you didn’t leave any scars

but instead,
you opened up the old ones
and thought i wouldn’t notice

until i found myself lying on the floor,
wondering why i was bleeding again

try to
untangle
a few words
from my tongue
and see
what you
end up with

attempt to
find a galaxy
which lives
somewhere
deep inside of me
where the stars
shine in the shape
of my heart
and spell out
stories of
the many lives
i've tried to live

They asked me "how can you say a color without the name?"
This is the color of her eyes looking up at you, the mirror of the sky on the ocean, this is the color of cold hands missing gloves in a winter storm, depression claims this color and depression makes you feel this color on dark nights when you're all alone, when the sky opens up after a storm it's the color of the sky shining once again, and this is the color we never want to feel but yet we do, when you miss her this is the color you feel, and when your heart stops beating this is the color of your lips.